Overwhelmed

posted on: 5/17/2013



Well my goodness, guys. I can't say thank you enough for your responses. I honestly had no idea how kind you all were and for that shame on me! So many heartfelt responses, so many that made me laugh and cry (good cries, not the ugly cry). I can't say thank you enough. Yesterday felt like my birthday; it felt that good. It's been a while since a good day like that, so thank you. 

I am a bit sad that I made so many people tell me they were sorry. I felt bad for making you feel bad. But through your sympathy and through your stories, I found clarity which was what I was looking for the whole time. For a second, I lost my voice and I didn't know how to get it back. Thank you for letting me find it again. 

It still boggles my mind that I have an audience who doesn't ask me to be anyone other than myself but if you didn't know before, please know now that I am forever grateful. By just opening up my blog and reading, you have changed my life forever in ways you will never know. 

One more things that I feel the need to add to yesterday's post: I was overwhelmed by the amount of people who have dealt with anxiety or depression. I had no idea. But thank you for sharing your stories with me. It's nice to know you aren't alone. If you are dealing with depression, I hope you find comfort in the comments. I hope you read those comments with your name in them instead of mine. There is hope, as so many people shared. It does get better. I'm slowly seeing that now even if I've known it all along. But if I learned one thing yesterday and in these last few months, it's that sharing or getting help is the starting point. I finally broke down one day and told a friend a few weeks ago, after I last minute cancelled on her due to a panic attack. Turns out, she struggled with depression, too and she has been a rock ever since. From there I told my family and other friends, who as much as I was afraid would not understand have been nothing but kind. If you find yourself in a place where you can't help yourself any longer, when it is bigger than you, find help. (Watch this TED talk if you have 20 minutes, too.)

I hope you know that you've opened up a pandora's box of sharing now. I have a lot to tell you and while I like to keep things short around here, I've got a lot of words stored up. Be prepared. 

Thank you again. I've never felt so loved. 

114 comments:

  1. Kendi...I hope you read The Blogess...if you don't already, you should. Jenny deals with her anxiety and depression with absolute hilarity! Best to you, much love and support.

    Xo,
    Alyssa @ Matchy Matchy Midlife

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  2. So happy to hear about all those words you've got stored up :) I'll be here everyday, ready to read them. You're amazing, Kendi. Thanks for reminding me of everything great in this blogging community!

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  3. You are awesome Kendi, thank you for sharing.

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  4. Kendi, you are an amazing woman. There are moments that we just need to step back and focus on ourselves. You hang in there and keep being the way you are. You've touched many lives and thank you for sharing your story with us. God Bless and I will keep you in my prayers. Keep your head up high! xo, Jealeyni www.daintyjea.com

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  5. Kendi - you're free. ;) Bravo on a beautiful post. I thought about it all day yesterday and I look forward to the new Kendi Everyday! xo.

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  6. So happy that you found happiness and comfort in the comments that were left for you and so happy you are seeking help. I love reading your blog and so look forward to hearing more from you!!

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  7. Thank you so much for opening up. You have no idea how much your blog helped me. I have been dealing with a lot in my life and it has caused severe anxiety and depression. We are not alone. It is so good to know that. I look forward to your blog everyday. I am glad you felt so loved- you deserve it!

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  8. I am SO happy you feel supported and loved by all your readers Kendi! My favourite part of blogging is all the amazing people out there, all coming to the same virtual spaces. to learn, to be inspired, to laugh, to cry, to support. it's beautiful. while I would never wish struggle on anyone, it's a reality that we all have some struggle, if not a lot, in our lives. how great is it that we have communities like this to check in to and to support one another through? Wishing you happier and happier days ahead.

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  9. Kendi, thank you for your transparency. It has made me realize that I need to be more honest with my readers about what has been going on in my own life - different from your struggles, but hardship nonetheless. Your bravery is inspiring.

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  10. I think you got it right on when you said that we don't want or need you to be anything else but you. That's exactly how I feel about what you post on your blog. It's YOUR blog. I'm only a guest here and you don't need to be anything or anyone else but you. Take care of yourself. I'm glad you feel better! :)

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  11. It is definitely feels like a big burden when you keep things inside. Let them free and live your life. There are people who judge and others who embrace you with open arms.. all you have to do is find those open arms. Take care!

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  12. I was on a downward spiral of anxiety and depression in January, and reaching out to those closest to me was the only that thing kept me going. And sharing on my blog was therapeutic as well. I'm so glad you've been able to connect with your readers and overcome your fear of sharing the hard stuff. Knowing you, a blogger I admire so much for your humor and style, have dealt with the same issues opens up a whole new level of community here. So thank for you being authentic in a world of fake. Thank you for being you!

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  13. you are so amazing, thank you :)

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  14. Can I add something? Look out for your friends. Especially your single friends, who don't have someone living with them, checking up on them everyday. Sometimes you get to the point where you know you need help, but you just can't initiate it yourself, because the pain is too great. But if a friend offered to research therapists and schedule an appt on your behalf, you'd be more than willing to go. As Kendi said, it is SO easy to hide problems behind a smile, not necessarily always because you'd be ashamed to share, just because it is so painful to share. It's all a huge Catch-22. Look out for your friends...we are all in this together.

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  15. My hat tips to you lovely lady. Talking about such difficult emotions is not an easy thing to do. As someone who has recently felt my own anxiety levels gradually increasing, it's inspiring to hear you share your experiences and see such a great community coming together to support you. Thank you for sharing your story, and for that awesome TEDTalk, both made me tear up. Good luck to you, we all have faith in you!

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  16. Looking forward to hearing more of your honesty! It makes not only you, but your readers, not feel alone in their feelings.


    Jennifer

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  17. Bring on those words, sharing is good ! Getting it out at always helped me deal with all my stress and anxiety, I always feel better after, even if it's just a little.

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  18. Kendi, you rock. Take care

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  19. You are amazing! Can't wait to see what you have to share with us. Keep that chin up; we're all behind you!

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  20. I can't wait for all the sharing!!! So glad you recognized how much your cyber posse loves you. You were one of the first fashion blogs I ever found and your personality and style have always kept me coming back for more. Have a great weekend Kendi! <3

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  21. Beautiful, wonderful, amazing! Thank you for being YOU.

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  22. :) nice to see you feeling a little less alone. i was crippled by my anxiety because i thought i was the only one! how selfish of me. anxiety is exclusive with no one.

    kw ladies in navy

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  23. Kendi, I've really liked your blog for your style, but the little details of your life and thoughts were what made me subscribe. This only helps more. :) I've struggled with anxiety for several years, with a side order of depression when the anxiety is bad, and from talking with friends it's much more common than we all think. The stigma prevents us from talking.

    If you don't already, you should read Hyperbole and a Half, she's put up the second part to her excellent post on depression recently. It's awesome.

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  24. Bring on whatever you want/need to tell us! We are here for you through the thick and thin. It sounds creepy, but I feel a lot closer to you (and the other readers) now. We're not alone, not at all. Seeing a therapyst was the key for me, much more than the medicines (I've tried several until I find some that worked, but it took some time to take effect), and I'm wanting to go back to acupunture to calm my anxiety and try to have a good night sleep without any kind of sedative, so that's my sugestion for you to try. Anyway, I'm VERY glad I helped somehow. x

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  25. Can't wait to get to know you better, Kendi. You're so amazing and so inspiring. Love! xoxo

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  26. You're Awesome Kendi and you are NOT alone with this. Join the sisterhood of the Fashionably Anxious and Depressed.

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  27. I am so glad you were helped by everyone's lovely comments on your post - and speaking for myself (as I can't speak for others) I certainly meant what I said - feel free to be you and share whatever you want on your blog. Anything that makes you happy :)


    Have a great weekend, and continue to walk the long but rewarding road to recovery, with all of your friends, family and even blog readers cheering you from the sidelines :)

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  28. i love how open and strong you are..amazing words! i had a very bad time myself the last 2 years or so and i saw a doctor (therapy) and i was SO helpful and amazing!

    you are not alone..never forget about that!

    http://starlightsworld.blogspot.com/

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  29. You being YOU is what keeps us all coming back for more! Thank you for sharing YOU. :)

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  30. Cecilia SantovenaMay 17, 2013 at 5:32 PM

    Believe in who you are when you are happy, not when you are scared. You are AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Im so glad all of our messages made you feel good!!!!! :)

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  31. Anxiety and panic attacks are rough! My husband has suffered for years. We spent many nights in the emergency room trying to prove to him that is was not a heart attack that he was having at age 24! Eleven years later he is doing much better!! Take time to take care of yourself! I hope that by talking about it you may find resources to help and make you feel better!
    Kristin

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  32. You are such a beautiful soul Kendi. Thanks for being raw and sharing your story so candidly. You are inspiring in so many ways.

    kellimurray.com

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  33. I wanted to leave a message yesterday, but couldn't even get through because you were getting so many comments. Yesterday I was marvelling how the cutest, funniest and well-spoken people (you) could feel so tormented and hide it so well. Today I am just glad that other people will step up and support you when you need it most. I too have depression and started panic attacks about 2 years ago. It runs in my family and is part of my inheritance. I locgically understand it, but it is still an emotional mystery to me and maybe that is just the essence of the basic problem. I'm going to tell you the same thing I tell myself, "You are wonderful just the way you are, you manifest mysteriously wonderful things, tend to overdo life, and yet still think that you are not doing enough. Eventually you get yourself in a frazzle, so take a moment, lean to relax and just be. Because you are, and you do, enough and you need to not be your own worst enemy." Oh yea, and meds help too, lol! Kind Regards, Gerrilyn

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  34. I've been reading your blog regularly for years, but rarely commented. I have always enjoyed it, but after yesterday's post and this one today, I have a newfound respect for you. My boyfriend suffers from severe depression and anxiety and while I've struggled to understand it, I've tried my best to be understanding and supportive. (I'm not always successful, btw.) It took me a while to come to the realization that for him, having a good day does not equal feeling good. My feelings (aside from PMS!) are always situational, so it took a while to really be able to comprehend how frustrating and difficult it must be to live with depression day after day. I applaud your courage for being so open about it. I think that far too many people suffer silently and I truly appreciate how you've shared. I wish nothing but the best and brightest future for you.

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  35. Kendi, you have been an inspiration to me for a couple of years now, and not just because you put together the cutest outfits and because you have a hilarious voice - but because when it comes down to it, you are honest and genuine. It may have taken some time, but you've never lied to us, and for that - I'm grateful to you and also proud of myself for having such a wholesome role model :) Everybody has their struggles, and I hope that you are able to overcome yours. I know you will. Not only do you have an amazing husband, but I hope you know that you have all of your readers who are supporting you and encouraging you forward!

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  36. Hurrah for an opened pandora's box ;) I have so much hope for you... about 10 years ago my husband dealt with severe anxiety attacks and depression that were triggered by an injury but continued even after he healed. He was on medication for both for a couple of years before weaning off and today lives a completely happy & normal life again! His biggest source of encouragement during that time was all the people who came out of the woodwork who had dealt with the same thing that we had no idea about. Hearing all the stories of people who had conquered depression gave him hope that things could definitely change. It's funny because we both forget all about that time period now, it feels like so long ago, but I know during it all it was definitely all-consuming! You are right... things WILL get better!

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  37. aw Kendi girl you're amazing and wonderful! I'm so sorry you've been going through all of this. I've had family members suffer from depression and I know it's a difficult journey. You're so lucky to have such a wonderful support system in your family and friends, and also here through your blog. Sending you a big hug until I can see you in person next!!

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  38. I thought you were brave, showing your legs and putting your outfits out there but, lady, I'm blown away by your honesty and bravery in these last couple of posts. Go you (and your partner)! Entrepreneurship is hard, anxiety and depression are hard, but you will get through this....you have the twinkle in the eye of tough cookies, of survivors xxxxx

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  39. This is another amazing Ted talk by Brene Brown.. It changed how I live my life.

    http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

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  40. Kendi, I'm so glad you wrote what you did and thank you for your honesty and vulnerability! The world has enough people that are pretending to have it all together.

    I commented on Instagram but I don't think it went through. I, too, struggled/struggle with depression and for the longest time I had no clue what was going on. Finally after a failed relationship I reached my breaking point. Seeing a counselor was scary and embarrassing but it was also one of the smartest things I've ever done. I realized that not only was it ok for me to never be enough, there was no way I ever could be! That and God's sovereignty were the most freeing realizations I've ever experienced. I totally feel ya and I know how tough and frustrating it is. You and everyone else who has bravely opened up about depression are in my prayers.
    Also, I visited the shop this week for my birthday and if I could I would've gotten everything in it! I got a dress that was on the last call rack and I can't wait to wear it all the time :) thank you for sharing your incredible taste and more importantly your heart with us!

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  41. My whole life has changed in the past year, as I had my first panic attack last July. I've written a lot about it on my blog and, like you, have found out that SO many more people deal with it than I actually realized. Good for you for finally opening up and being honest. :)

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  42. You are an amazing and genuine person. Thank you for sharing and touching lives with more than just great fashion. :)

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  43. Never fear. Let little things bring you joy. You are amazing, Kendi. Thank you this blog and all your posts.

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  44. also, I hope you get some sleep! <3

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  45. Accepting the problem is the first step to fixing it. Stay strong, Kendi! Things will get better. I wish you the very best :)

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  46. Confession: I can't tell you how many times I've felt a panic attack coming on and drove myself to the shopping mall. Something about it always soothes me. Sometimes I don't buy a single sock, but the atmosphere calms me.

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  47. i just started following your blog.. and i want to say that your last post was my favorite.. you are amazing! and you are loved :)

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  48. You are an amazing person and you're going to get stronger from here on ! I've been quite the silent reader and your last post made me realise that I, too, need to open up more and stop closing off.


    I wish you all the best !

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  49. It requires a lot of strength to open up as you did. Although for the moment invisible for your overwhelmed self, this strength is there deep down inside you and always reachable. Allow yourself every feeling, every emotion, no matter how frightening it seems; all these bring you back to who you really are. Consider that what you went through a life saving mechanism in order to be yourself again. You are amazing - we all know it!

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  50. You're amazing, Kendi. I'm sure life has nothing but the best in store for you :)

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  51. Thank you. I read your last blog post to a friend who was having a bad week and who was falling into a dark place that was familiar to her. She is an entreprenuer and completely identifiied with all that you wrote about. Something clicked and she got out of bed that afternoon where previously she couldn't. Thank you for your words, keep on writing. (I Heart TED too!)

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  52. Your post yesterday and today were inspiring. A few years back I was in a bad job situation and I felt that overwhelming anxiety you talked about. I can totally relate and am so glad you opened up to a watershed of support.

    I'm sure you will inspire others to deal with their own anxiety and depression. I can only speak for myself but I know I stop by hear daily for more than just your outfits (which are always on point!) and I'm excited to see what this new expression opens up in terms of your content.

    Just know you have a giant group of people rooting you on!

    xo

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  53. Lots of hugs Kendi xxx

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  54. Just wanted you to know that you have been in my thoughts all morning oh, and prayers! Thanks again for your honesty.

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  55. You are really brave for sharing all of that! I'm a counsellor and yep, depression and anxiety are sooooo common, I'd go so far as to say that most people have dealt with one or the other at some point in their life (and remember it's a continuum not 'you have it or you don't), including me. I'm sad that it's so stigmatized but I think it's amazing that you've used this platform not only to help with your own healing but it's also had the effect of helping who knows how many other people. Way to go!!

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  56. I like this picture! You smiled!

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  57. I love you that much more for posts like this, Kendi! I know this feeling all too well and I'm so so grateful you shared this with us. Thank you.

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  58. You are such an amazing person.Not because you hide from the truth but because you tell us how it is and you're embracing it.


    The video was great, lets be allies! :)

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  59. You're the best, Kendi. Thanks for sharing. I love seeing your outfits, but I come here to read your posts. You have so many people who care (via the interwebs, too)! You are a positive force in people's lives whether you're having a crummy day, week, month, or year. You make us smile. Hugs to you, Kendi. You're a dose of inspiration for me, daily!

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  60. Yay for being you! My husband told me this once and it has resonated with me ever since:

    "Let people feel the weight of who you are, and let them deal with it" John Eldrige ~Wild At Heart.

    When I read the book myself, the author goes on to say that " The world is not a place or a set of behaviors-it is any system built by our collective sin, all our false selves coming together to reward and destroy eachother. Take all those posers out there, and put them in an office or a club or a church, and what you get is what the Scriptures mean by the world."

    Truly an awesome insight. Good for you girl for being brave enough and real enough to fight against the ways of "the world" and for having the strength of self to share it. Living your life in this way will bring a freedom that can only be found in Christ:)! You are beautiful, an excellent stylist, and a very talented blogger...you go girl! Can't wait to read more!

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  61. thanks for sharing kendi! it's so strange how we get to know people through blogs and find ourselves coming back to these safe virtual places. you are an awesome inspiration that keeps us coming back for more!

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  62. I was really blessed by your post the other day. As a person who also is in a high stress job (on top of being in school full time) and struggles with depression, it was comforting to read your story. I know it sounds awful strange, but knowing that you maintain such a strong face helps me as well. I often feel like people MUST know there is something "wrong" with me, and it discourages me to no end. But I have made progress and I hope that is also what people notice. Chin up dear Kendi. We're all rooting for you!

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  63. I'm glad you're finding the solace you need. You're strong, beautiful, and, most importantly, human. We love you for being all three of those.

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  64. Definitely sharing this TED talk with those that I care about it and will get it myself!! Thanks again and so glad you felt encouraged by everyone's posts. You are not alone!

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  65. God is so good. We must understand that we do, indeed, one another...your journey is the perfect example. There's very little that makes any of us different from one another. Thank you...as a woman, as a human, as an entrepreneur...who works with her significant other. I needed to read that. God bless your journey. You're vulnerability is admiral. XO

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  66. I wanted so badly to comment on your initial post, but I felt os overwhelmed coming in as a "me too!" to all of the other amazing, heartfelt comments. But I've suffered from depression and anxiety since I was eight. It comes in waves. I thought maybe by the time I was an adult it would go away (I mean, I wasn't dealing with the same things anymore, right?), but it's manifested itself in different ways. I'm working now to keep myself away from the things that cause that sadness. But I agree, it's so good to know that there are others. We're not alone. We never are.

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  67. Had to teach yesterday and right before class I decided to check my email and I saw your post. I was taken in by the opening Hemingway quote so I read on (2 minutes before the start of class). As I finished with tears in my eyes I said to myself - "I have to respond!" So here I go. I am one of those people who have suffered my entire life with depression but lately it has been very, very bad. There are days where I feel like I am treading through mud. On really bad days I feel like death is a better option. I cannot remember a time when I felt such despair. I have started medication and will soon begin therapy. I cannot thank you enough for sharing your story with us. I hope, one day soon both you and I can feel better.

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  68. Everyone struggles. Life is a rollercoaster It's so great and fun and then you throw up all over your cute shirt.

    But the fun will come again.

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  69. You are brave and beautiful

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  70. Just sending you an internet hug! :-)

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  71. Thank you for sharing :) I struggled with severe anxiety for about 8 months after I first got married and was going through a lot of changes in my life. It's really inspiring to be open about what you are going through and even though it seems like you may never feel any better just remember that you will. Stay strong and hopeful :)

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  72. Thank you for sharing your story. It takes some courage to share that with the world to read...

    To be honest, even though I have been a long time follower of your blog (adore your style), I stopped reading a while ago, because I wasn't interested in the content you were writing. This is not meant as a criticism, but more of an "a-ha!" moment for me - seems like you may have been hiding what you were really feeling with some flippant comment about the clothes.

    For me reading blogs these days is more about connecting with like-minded people than seeing people's "perfect lives." No one is perfect. With things like blogs/facebook/any social media we can just reveal what we want to. So thanks again for sharing the "real" Kendi. Things can only go up from here.

    oxox

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  73. Kendi, I just want to tell you that your post inspired me to talk about my struggles with depression and anxiety on my own blog. I hope that by you telling your story, you can start to heal too, like I'm doing. It's a constant process but it gets better.


    Big hugs to you, Kendi.

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  74. Kendi,

    I am super late to the game - I have just read both of your last posts. I took a couple of days off of the internet to graduate from my Master's in Counseling Psychology. I tell you this not to brag, but to say thank you, thank you, thank you for your bravery in sharing your struggles. There are so many people that suffer from depression and anxiety (they are cousins) and your post was so poignant and true. I have struggled with both and struggle with the irony of training to be a therapist and having my own struggles. I was shocked to be told (by my therapist) that I didn't have to have it all together, hide my emotions or be perfect as a therapist or a person. (Don't worry, I keep it really together in my day job ;) ) I strive to be practically perfect, because who doesn't love Mary Poppins and her fun games and great voice and awesome bag and wardrobe? Seriously, though, I'll be me and you be you. Sound good? (Sounds a little bossy - but I mean it in the best of ways). I come here for you - the outfits are a bonus, as are your witty stories and weather updates. Whatever you feel like sharing - the weather, an outfit, something personal - I accept and embrace with open arms. You are fabulous and I hope you. I leave you with a quote that I personally find comfort in:
    "May you find strength to face tomorrow in the love that surrounds you today." Take care.
    Sending you a lot of love and warmth,
    Megan

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  75. Heather GoodwillMay 19, 2013 at 2:23 PM

    Thanks for your honesty and pointing us to Jane McGonigal's Ted Talk! Readers like me adore you (with good reason!). Stay strong! You are an inspiration!

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  76. Thank you for sharing! I think it's important that the word gets out there about how common anxiety and depression are. I know from experience, that when you're depressed you feel as if you're completely, horrifyingly alone. That is simply not true. Thank you again so much for not only sharing such a big piece of your life, but for letting people know that depression does not just include "sad" people. It can strike anyone and comes with many faces. Stay strong, Kendi! You've got a world of support behind you! :)

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  77. Dang It!! How did I miss yesterday's blog post only to have to read today's first two lines and know I had to directly go to your post from yesterday and get caught up with you!! You see, Kendi, I have always enjoyed YOU, for who you are!! You are more than half way through this my friend ~ you have.already done the hard work.....we are here to hold you through the rest ��. Keep your pretty chin held high!!

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  78. I adore you and your courage to not only speak the truth of reality but also your courage to continue. Depression takes over and I appreciate you bringing light to it, embracing it, and sharing your story. You're awesome just remember that.

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  79. What a beautiful few posts you have here. I've read your blog pretty much every day for the last year or so and enjoy all of the outfit inspiration incredibly, but the the personal posts really mean so much! I watched that TED talk and have suffered a concussion myself, and many of the same lasting issues mentioned in the video. I love that you are able to show beauty in your pictures every day as well as in your messages - to all your readers and to yourself. Take care and know it will be okay.

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  80. Kendi,

    Your last post really did touch me. I thank you for sharing your life & style with us. Your blog is always colorful with beautiful outfits & words of encouragement. I will keep you in my prayers. I wish you all the best & happiness.Your light will continue to shine brighter even on the darkest days.
    God Bless,
    Amber Linn

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  81. Sharing is therapeutic. It's scary, freaking scary if I'm to be honest, but I learned that sometimes, pouring the feelings onto words in a blog can be the start of healing.


    Thank you for allowing yourself to be vulnerable.

    Abi

    http://thebelatedbloomer.blogspot.com

    twitter and instagram: @BelatedBloomer

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  82. I have IBS, and since I was 17 it gave way to something similar to agoraphobia. I became less social, stooped doing outdoor things i lived, lost a few friends, became "older" (I've always felt older at heart). All of a sudden dinner and a movie at home was more appealing than being out in the scary, judgmental, potentially bathroomless world. I felt trapped at red lights, panicky in every circumstance where I felt there was no quick way to get to a bathroom. So can relate to the overwhelming fear that comes with panic attacks. It's no fun.

    I've gotten better since then. Therapy helped. I'm a big proponent of therapy, and strongly believe that everyone can benefit from some counseling at some point(s) in their lives. I believe it so much that I'm currently a counseling student myself. I'm glad that you got all this off your chest. We loyal Kendi Everyday followers are happy to read all about your life!

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  83. Sorry I am late to the game but I am glad that you could open like in this last posts on the blog: i'm sure it was the opposite to easy. I myself had suffered panick attacks in the past and didn't see them coming as well, but after a year i was in shape again and i have learn now to listen to the small voice in your head before it all goes wrong again, just be more conscious of the good things in life and trying to relax more (very difficult for me as i was a super perfectionist who needed to have everything under control) but learning everyday from both my mistakes and success.


    Take your time and we support you, pretty

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  84. ashley @ sunnysideshlee.comMay 20, 2013 at 6:16 AM

    Stay strong! Depression is a real thing but you have to keep sight on the positive things in life - even when it's hard. That's when you become the most resilient and can overcome those sad thoughts. Hang in there and enjoy the summer!! Sunshine helps with positive thoughts and energy!

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  85. Kendi, don't feel bad for making anyone sorry! Everyone goes through ups and downs and I think everyone who commented just wanted to help bring a little smile to your day. I hope you're feeling a little bit better now, can't wait to hear a little more about your life!

    xoxo,
    Chelsea & The City

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  86. as a blogger who has opened myself up (i have a feature called "vent sesh" and have been very candid), it's amazing to realize that so many of us deal with the same, or similar issues, yet never really discuss them. that makes me so sad, and is the reason why I'm willing to put myself out there like you just did in the hopes that even one person can relate and feel comforted that they're not alone. With the huge platform that you have, thank you for sharing your story and giving hope to others.


    alyson

    www.theaveragegirlsguide.com

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  87. Sincerely SammieMay 20, 2013 at 9:37 AM

    I think it's great that you've opened up and showed your readers another side of yourself. Thanks for sharing and we support you!

    http://www.sincerelysammie.com/

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  88. I am amazed with your honesty and the clarity of words. I almost cannot figure out what to type here as it seems like it would pale in comparison. I have never struggled with depression like that, only a few bits here and there, but I know so many who do. Thank you for sharing your story. And we are all here for you. Now you can be free here as well. Much love. I'm praying for you.

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  89. Dear, dear friend,
    You don,t know me, but I hope that you will allow me to consider you my friend - real friends are true to us and to themselves and this is what you did. Thank you for giving me yet another lesson about things not being what they appear to be - in a good way - the secret being to realize it until it,s not too late. Thank you for confirming yet another time that we MUST listen and trust ourselves. And I think you just did that, dear Kendi, now continue to Love, accept and the most important : trust yourself. Hats off to you, MyLady :)

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  90. You are beautiful on the inside and out. Chin up! There are so many people who want what's best for you and are rooting for you!

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  91. Oh lovely. I've been following since, damn, I can't even remember but it's been quite a while. Watching you grow as a blogger and then seeing bloom open was the coolest thing to see. It was a first in the blogging world to see others pursue a dream and accomplish it.


    I'm so happy to see bloggers opening up with their audience. It's refreshing for a reader to see that we, as bloggers, are human. It's crazy to think that we live a perfect life, in our perfect house, in a perfect bubble, untouchable to the drama outside of it. The past two years, I focused on opening up to my readers instead of showing them what I wear all the time. I felt my readers needed to be inspired by, not just my boyfriends jeans, but by my mind. We are all going through struggles, some harder than others. And the simple fact that we can come together, relate to one another and rejoice in the fact that we have each other to rely on is a really beautiful thing. When I get that feeling of depression as I had five years ago, I get reminded I have thousands of people who can relate. It's such an awesome feeling. It's so killer to be inspired by a real person than a girl wearing a top that so many others bought.


    Thank you for opening up... you'll soon start to see that opening your blog up to dialog is the greatest thing about having a blog. Fashion only goes so far, after all.


    xC

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  92. Me again with a TedTalk reply :)

    on...vulnerability...allowing yourself to be vulnerable will set you free...and over 700 replies to your post are proof that you are not alone. We are all part of something Big - together. Much love to you, Kendi

    http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

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  93. My Dearest Kendi...As you as finding out, you are not alone in this. There is no need to apologize for anything. Keep doing what is true to you and go with what you feel in your heart. When the time comes, make a different choice. You will know when you will need to do that.

    I, for one, come to your blog becuase of your words, not just your clothes. ;) I find you witty and real. You are one of the few that I subscribe to (and I subscribe to you everywhere I can...lol).
    Much love,
    ~W

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  94. I for one very much look forward to reading more of your stored up words. :)

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  95. Just something I wanted to share about my dealings with fashion and depression - I was talking to a therapist the other day about fashion, about how on depressed days, fashion feels like a huge burden instead of fun. He said (paraphrasing) that just like artists, we don't have to create everyday. That sometimes a comfy sweatshirt and jeans (or matching sweatpants) are just fine. We aren't less than the day before. It really helped me to refigure my thoughts about fashion. Much love to you in your journey.

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  96. Kendi, I know your story all too well. The panic attacks, the hiding it (both from yourself and from others), the teenage poetry (LOL!), and finally, the sharing. I just finally shared with my Aunt that I too have suffered from anxiety and depression. She has struggled for years and is a bad place right now...she needed to hear that she wasn't alone and I was finally ready to tell her my story. Her openness in dealing with her depression these past years gave me strength. It is unfortunate to hear that anyone has gone through these issues, yet can be comforting to know you are not alone. Kendi, you are not alone.

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  97. Kendi--Thank you, thank you, thank you!! Your honesty, depth, and the sharing of your truth is such a gorgeous thing--how courageous and kind to offer it to us. My book club just finished a fabulous book on the power of vulnerability (Daring Greatly by Brene Brown...an absolute must read!). In our discussion of the book, we identified examples of vulnerability that impacted each of us. I was so struck by the raw beauty of your transparency and shared it with the group. Thank you for inspiring and encouraging us to embrace and voice our own struggles and reminding me that there is nothing more beautiful than one's own truth. Sending love your way!

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  98. Kendi, I know you have 1000 comments of encouragement. However, somewhere in between the outfits and
    instagram pictures, I feel like you've become a dear friend. So, I wanted to add my online hug! Life is hard!!! So many of us are struggling.

    Wish I had great words of encouragement, but I don't. Life is hard!! I'm so glad your story was welcomed with wide open arms. If it wasn't, I know several friends of mine that could have been available for a beat down. But that wasn't needed! Thank goodness! :D

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  99. Such beautiful words. You are awesome for opening up and sharing your story. Thanks for being so brave.

    http://mollycurley.blogspot.com/



    xo Molly

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  100. Sabes que te recuperarás, pero necesitas tiempo. Es difícil ahora que todo se ve negro. Déjate cuidar e intenta tener paciencia. Haz caso a tu cuerpo y descansa. Y llora. Y habla. Y rodéate de la gente que te quiere. Ni caso a los demás. Yo sigo de baja, pero estoy mucho mejor. Por pensar en algo positivo de este golpe tan cruel, es un aprendizaje intenso para la vida que tú vas a tener. Un beso. Belén http (Laislainterior.blogspot.com)

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  101. Dear Kendi- thank you so much for your courage to open up this part of your life and be transparent. I love your blog, am inspired by your outfits and always laugh at your wit. And my heart aches with you as you go through this time. you will be in my prayers. blessings. xo

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  102. Kendi, I was really moved by your post. It takes a lot of guts to be honest about something so personal. I've struggled with depression and anxiety my whole life, and I went through the worst bout with depression I've ever experienced last summer/fall. I often feel shame, but every person who "comes out" and talks about their own struggles makes it easier for others to feel less shame and guilt and start the healing process. So many of us feel this, and I think that blogs like yours really make it too easy to present an edited, perfected version of our lives. I feel like I've gained another ally in this battle so many of us face every day, and I really do send you wishes for healing, hope, and peace. Thank you for being so brave!

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  103. Keep the sharing coming - you are not alone!

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  104. its great that you're as beautiful inside as on the outside Kendi, and you are for real!! Thank you for your blog and inspirations. I've been quietly reading your blog for 4 years now.

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  105. i can relate to your story , and reaching out was the hardest thing i have ever done. Thanks for the reminder that we are not alone in our struggle

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  106. I admire your courage for coming out and sharing this part of your life with us! My best friend is battling anxiety, and being there for her through it, I've seen how much it can take over your life. We are all here for you, your girlfriends when you need us! Keep smiling, and doing what you do:)

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  107. It's hard dealing with depression or anxiety because you feel NUTS and people don't understand it and make it seem like it isn't real which makes you feel even more nuts. I control mine now with fitness, best decision I have made for myself. Keep on truckin!

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  108. So glad you could feel the love from everyone and that you have found your voice to share your struggles. It's strange that sometimes it can be easier to share these things with strangers rather than the people closest to us, but just know that they love you even more than your readers! Thanks for sharing your heart with us.

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  109. Ooh girl, you are most definitely not alone. I had to read 'Life, lately' several times before I could stop crying because I can completely relate. And it was because of you that I'm finally reaching out to my loved ones for support. And they 100% delivered. Thank you for being so brave to share! Seriously.

    Your personality is amazing, and every witty and sarcastic post brings a smile to my day. Every other fashion blog... I follow, un-follow, follow and un-follow again... Kendi Everyday has been the one and only fashion blog I never tire of. I tell all of my friends about this blog! Although I've been actively (some can say almost religiously) following you for two years now (at least), I think I've only commented one other time. To reaffirm your feeling of being loved, you most definitely are! I hadn't planned on commenting, for fear of sounding like some creepy fan lol. I'd hoped I'll run into you at Magic in August and just give you a big ol hug--hahaha, maybe you won't be at Magic, so why not comment. Buttttt, if you ARE at Magic, stop by Lucy Paris (please??), and I might just be totally starstruck! ...And quite possibly burst into tears lol

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  110. I opened your blog this morning, and saw photos of your store. I was so interested by that I kept scrolling. I saw the overwhelmed post and kept going. I made my way to that post where you shared your heart. Wow, what an AMAZING well written and carefully thought out post. I've never commented before but I just want to cheer you on and say thank you. I've been working 2 jobs about 70+ hours a week and planning my wedding and I can relate to a lot of what you are saying. Thanks for being honest and helping me reflect that I need to take a step back and stop pretending everything is okay and that I can hold it together.
    I'm excited to see more posts about your life and hope you can find your lovely, amazing, creative, strong voice again. I am SO excited to see where this takes you. SO excited for what is to come with your blog posts. Thanks for sharing, ESPECIALLY on a fashion blog. Thanks for being YOU.

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  111. i'm so glad to see all this support for you, as well as other people going through similar things. i've read your blog for a long time now, and have to admit, i never would have guessed what you've been going through. the facade that bloggers have perfect lives has long past through me, but it is hard sometimes to imagine someone you don't actually know (in real life) living regularly. so, getting a peek into your mind and hearing your thoughts helps you to become a real person to me. helps me relate to you, and trust even more in you. thanks so much for being you, and i bet in 'real life' we'd have fun going to get a coffee.

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