Well my goodness, guys. I can't say thank you enough for your responses. I honestly had no idea how kind you all were and for that shame on me! So many heartfelt responses, so many that made me laugh and cry (good cries, not the ugly cry). I can't say thank you enough. Yesterday felt like my birthday; it felt that good. It's been a while since a good day like that, so thank you.
I am a bit sad that I made so many people tell me they were sorry. I felt bad for making you feel bad. But through your sympathy and through your stories, I found clarity which was what I was looking for the whole time. For a second, I lost my voice and I didn't know how to get it back. Thank you for letting me find it again.
It still boggles my mind that I have an audience who doesn't ask me to be anyone other than myself but if you didn't know before, please know now that I am forever grateful. By just opening up my blog and reading, you have changed my life forever in ways you will never know.
One more things that I feel the need to add to yesterday's post: I was overwhelmed by the amount of people who have dealt with anxiety or depression. I had no idea. But thank you for sharing your stories with me. It's nice to know you aren't alone. If you are dealing with depression, I hope you find comfort in the comments. I hope you read those comments with your name in them instead of mine. There is hope, as so many people shared. It does get better. I'm slowly seeing that now even if I've known it all along. But if I learned one thing yesterday and in these last few months, it's that sharing or getting help is the starting point. I finally broke down one day and told a friend a few weeks ago, after I last minute cancelled on her due to a panic attack. Turns out, she struggled with depression, too and she has been a rock ever since. From there I told my family and other friends, who as much as I was afraid would not understand have been nothing but kind. If you find yourself in a place where you can't help yourself any longer, when it is bigger than you, find help. (Watch this TED talk if you have 20 minutes, too.)
I hope you know that you've opened up a pandora's box of sharing now. I have a lot to tell you and while I like to keep things short around here, I've got a lot of words stored up. Be prepared.
Thank you again. I've never felt so loved.