This past weekend was my 39th birthday. We celebrated with a quick happy hour just the two of us (B and I) and then with a dinner with a few friends. It’s funny — I used to get so anxious about turning another year older, but now it’s more of a ‘looking back’ at each year lived, not quite understanding how linear time inexplicably speeds up by the day. I don’t know how I reached the end of my 30s quite so fast. I swear I was in a red dress just turning 29, anticipatory of what my 30s would bring. I had no idea what I was in for: a few houses to move in and out of, a few shops to open and close and open again, a precious child to love which lead to a new way that I count my days, my months and my years. Old fears conquered, new fears unlocked. I, at once, feel older and wiser and as if I know nothing at all. I will say I am sad at the naïveté I lost along the way in my 30s but comforted by the tools I’ve picked up to learn how to deal with anxiety, conflict, fears. (That beautiful naïveté of my 20s — what a gift I didn’t know I had.)
I’m also amazed at how unaffected I am at being year older, a year closer to 40 — the age we’ve all been told is ‘old.’ I remember my parents throwing ‘over the hill’ parties for their 40s, and here I am waiting at the bottom of that hill, looking up. All that to say, I’m wonderfully underwhelmed with turning one year older. It’s not scary, it’s not sad; it’s a wonderful reminder that I have 365 days to try something new, do something old, re-invent or stay the same but no matter what I do, it will stay alive in my memories when I look back in 10 years and think ‘I wish I could do that all again.’ What’s the opposite of regret — appreciation? I’m not quite sure, but I can’t wait to appreciate these years.
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I have a feeling we are all about the same age, all dealing with turning a year older and what that looks like in our world we built as twenty-somethings. Since I started this blog in my 20s, I figured you were in your 20s too and yet we are all still here in our 30s and hopefully our 40s, that is if you’ll have me. I’m really glad that on my 39th year I get to start it again here and with you. Thank you for always joining along on any of my journeys, the good, the bad, the awkward, the cringe, or perhaps even the inspiring. It’s nice to have a friend.
38 Responses
Happy birthday! i had my last kiddo at 39
Turned 40 this year so I’m right there with you! And you’re right, have been with you since we were in our late 20s 🙂 Happy birthday!
Happy b-day, Kendi! My 39th is tomorrow and i feel this too.
Happiest of birthdays! 39 looks gorgeous on you.
Happy Birthday! Wishing you so much joy and a full heart this year! 🙂
Superb dress and Belated happy birthday!
You are amazing. I should thank you for all the work you put into making this post
I like the style of your clothing; it’s really lovely.
The line about a quick happy hour with just B, then dinner with friends, felt very real to me. My closest friend and I used KnowUsWell and laughed because we both try to smooth over conflict, so birthdays have become a good excuse for us to actually say the quiet things out loud. Do you have one small birthday ritual you hope keeps following you into the next decade?
Good article. The ideas in “On Turning 39 | kendi everyday” connect well with what I have been researching recently.
I love that turning 39 feels less anxious and more about looking back—funny, I had my last kid right at 39 too!
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Framing 39 as a year to look back on rather than dread is the part that makes this post land — treating a birthday as a checkpoint instead of a countdown is not the default reaction, and the low-key plan (happy hour first, then dinner with friends) fits the same idea that the quiet parts carry more than the big set-piece. Between long reflective reads like this, some readers keep a free browser game open on a second tab; Lagos Life Fieldguide is an independent, unofficial companion site to the Lagos Life city game, with walkthrough guides and a weekly budget planner (lagoslife.si).
Turning 39 sounds lovely—loved that you celebrated with a quick happy hour with B then dinner with friends, I stopped dreading birthdays around here too!
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Your low-key 39 birthday with B and friends sounds way nicer than the anxiety I used to feel about getting older.
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Happy birthday! It’s amazing how life keeps unfolding, and turning 39 sounds like a wonderful milestone. It’s great to hear from others who are also celebrating significant birthdays or life events around the same time.
Happy belated 39th! I love your take on birthdays — treating another year as a chance to look back instead of something to be anxious about is exactly the mindset I want as I get older. A happy hour with B and a dinner with a few friends sounds like the perfect way to celebrate, and the Banana Republic Factory dress with the suede pumps is such a great combination. After a long day I like to relax with Food Hunt: Pixel Puzzle, a fun little pixel puzzle game.
Kendi, your reflections on embracing change as you approach 39 are truly inspiring. It resonates deeply — life’s transitions can be challenging yet rewarding. Here’s to thriving in the journey ahead! Also, I’ve enjoyed exploring similar themes in storytelling games like FNAF 3 (https://fnaf3game.io/), where every choice shapes new experiences.
I love your shift from fearing birthdays to appreciating the years behind them. The idea of treating each new year as room to try, revisit, or simply be present feels especially meaningful; those ordinary celebrations and memories are worth preserving, even through something as simple as paper animation .
The idea of having a year to try something new stood out to me. Sometimes a rough visual can make a vague concept feel more concrete, and nano banana 2.5 fits that kind of quick draft.
The contrast between fearing another birthday and appreciating the years already lived is the part of this 2023 reflection that stays with me. Keeping a short note about one ordinary celebration each year could preserve details that a milestone photo misses. I run GridHanzi (https://gridhanzi.org/), a Chinese handwriting worksheet website, and am commenting here in my own disclosed role as its webmaster.
The shift from anticipating the next decade to appreciating the years already lived gives this reflection a thoughtful focus. Keeping a small annual photo-and-note archive could preserve those ordinary details. I run https://removeailabel.app, which checks supported image metadata locally; personal originals can stay in that archive while separate, reviewed copies are prepared for a public birthday post.
Thanks for documenting “On Turning 39.” The concrete examples and orderly presentation make the subject much easier to understand and revisit.
The bit about a quick happy hour with just B before the dinner with friends stuck with me, because it seems like those smaller moments are where the meaning of a birthday actually settles in. I noticed the question in the comments about a birthday ritual worth carrying forward, and it made me think about how those rituals tend to be quiet and personal rather than big celebrations. I don’t have a specific tradition to offer, but that idea of marking the day in a low-key way with one person first feels like something worth keeping. On an unrelated note, I ended up down a rabbit hole of game guides recently, and stealachicken.org had a surprisingly clear breakdown of routes and tips. Anyway, the reflection on turning 39 read as honest rather than performative, which is probably why the comments are engaging with it the way they are.
Great photo highlights and thoughtful reflections on age, outfit choices, and life priorities at 39! Clear and genuine blog posts on personal growth make following lifestyle blogs so rewarding. When taking a break from reading personal blogs and taking down personal journal notes, I enjoy using typography tools like Text to Cursive to convert plain text into elegant handwritten fonts. Thanks for sharing these well-structured life memories!
Happy 39th birthday! Turning 39 is such a special milestone—wishing you a wonderful year ahead filled with joy, health, and new memories.
Happy 39th birthday! Turning 39 is such a meaningful milestone—it is a wonderful time to reflect on everything you’ve experienced in your thirties and look forward to the next decade.
Happy birthday! Reading this brought back memories, as I also had my last little one right around that age.
Happy birthday! Reaching 39 is a wonderful milestone, and having your last little one around that time makes it even more memorable. Wishing you a fantastic year ahead filled with joy and wonderful family moments!
Turning 39 seems to be a bigger deal than I expected, and jen’s comment about having her last kiddo at 39 adds a whole different perspective to it. I’m not there yet, but reading this made me think about how the number matters less than what’s going on in your life at the time. I actually used ytbench recently to check a channel’s monetization signals, and it was surprisingly quick with no login.
Turning 39 seems to be a bigger deal than I expected, especially reading how others hit that milestone too. I had my own last kid around then, so that part really resonated. It’s funny how a number can make you look back and forward at once. I actually used ytbench the other day to check a channel’s monetization signals, which was a nice little distraction from all that reflection.
The detail about celebrating with a quick happy hour before the dinner with friends stood out, since it suggests the quieter part of a birthday can matter as much as the bigger gathering. You mention looking back at each year rather than dreading it, so I’m curious how you decide which moments from the past year are worth revisiting. Do you keep any kind of written record, like a journal or notes, that makes that reflection easier, or is it more of a mental exercise? I’ve been thinking about how a simple typing speed test might fit into that kind of annual check-in, though I’d rather hear how the reflection actually works for you first.
There is an odd clarity that comes with 39—you stop treating daily life like a rough draft and start genuinely protecting your mental bandwidth. It feels less like an anxious countdown to 40 and more like finally settling into the rhythm you built across your thirties. Hope this next year treats you well.
“Old fears conquered, new fears unlocked” is the perfect line for your 30s. I did my own look back last birthday by turning our Google Maps history into a recap video with https://www.timelinevisualizer.net, seeing every move on one map got me teary.
Your low-key 39th birthday plans—happy hour with your partner then dinner with friends—sound exactly like the perfect celebration I’d want right now.
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Happy belated 39th! I love your take on birthdays — treating another year as a chance to look back instead of something to be anxious about is exactly the mindset I want as I get older. A happy hour with B and a dinner with a few friends sounds like the perfect way to celebrate, and the Banana Republic Factory dress with the suede pumps is such a great combination. After a long day I like to relax with Meowdoku: Brain Puzzle Games, a cozy little logic puzzle.
The dark green clutch is a lovely pairing with the black dress. In a couple of the photos, the dark vases in the background blend into the dress a little, making its silhouette harder to distinguish. A lighter backdrop could help the draping stand out more. If you ever feel like exploring different outfit colors through image editing or turning a still photo into a short fashion video, APIXO could be an option to try.
Happy belated birthday! Your reflection on losing the naïveté of your 20s while gaining better tools for handling anxiety and change really resonated with me. I’m also learning to see birthdays as invitations to appreciate life rather than fear time passing. Thoughtful personal essays like this are wonderful for language practice, too—I’ve been using this Japanese to English reading tool to turn favorite Japanese writing into mixed Japanese-English readings at an adjustable level. It makes reading practice feel much more personal and approachable. Wishing you a joyful final year of your 30s!
The line about being “wonderfully underwhelmed” by turning 39 really stuck with me, because I’ve noticed the dread usually comes from other people’s expectations rather than anything real. I also loved what you wrote about the naïveté of your 20s being a gift you didn’t know you had, and how the tools you picked up in your 30s are what actually carry you forward. These days I measure years by the small rituals I keep instead of milestones, and when I want to switch my brain off after a long day I relax with Food Hunt: Pixel Puzzle.