6.17.10eToday — scratch that– this week was one of those days. Every day. How is that possible you ask? I have a theory that every person I’ve ever made fun of has traded in their karma card this week and now I’m reaping the consequences of cutting in line at the slide in the 3rd grade. Or perhaps it’s just been a bad week.
To be honest, I’m having a hard time being honest. On my blog, I can polish my life up and show it to you in 6-7 frames, after ironing my clothes and re-applying makeup. But that’s not real life. Sometimes telling the truth on here is hard for me; I wish that everyday was happy and shiny and I could share with you great things that are happening. But sometimes that’s just not true and I can’t lie. So bear with me in my honesty, things will get better and I promise to be vague in my whining instead of going into extreme unnecessary details. (Like pouring too much water into my oatmeal and spilling not 1 but 2 cups of coffee. Like those types of details.)
But in the mean time, can anyone tell me the steps involved in following your dreams? I must have skipped that class in college.
(PS this skirt is still available and it’s cheeeaaaap. (It sold out at ModCloth, so find it here for even cheaper! Thanks Chelsea for the tip!)

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Monthly Capsule Wardrobe

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57 Responses

  1. Don't be scared; just HAVING dreams is the first step! Try to ignore any past bad decisions. Be selfish. Your husband will understand, and when the time is right, he will follow you anywhere — just like you did for him.

  2. First, great outfit! Secondly, hang in there! We all have those weeks, I'm having one of those, too! Chin up! I only just found your blog like two days ago and I got a headache from staying up late going back through your older posts!! Not a bad thing, though, a good thing! You are quite amusing and fashionista I will follow!!

  3. Hope your week turns around.

    I did what I wanted to unpaid, on the side in addition to my paid job, until I finally got a paid job in what I wanted.

    Maybe you weren't talking about jobs though. And if not, trying to remind myself to look for (or create) opportunities if they were there to be had or created and spend less time on being frustrated or reactive. (Easier said than done.)

  4. Just wanted to say I hope things look up soon! I know what you mean with blogging…sometimes it's hard to both keep out the negative stuff and to feel comfortable sharing it.

    No wisdom here. For me following my heart/dreams means commuting an hour next year so that I can live with my boyfriend in a city I love…saving as much money as possible so we can actually achieve our dream of living in Europe for a couple of years…using my recent graduate degree in a way that keeps me fulfilled and happy. Best of luck following your dream—without even knowing it, I feel confident you can do it 🙂

  5. first off, I love your outfit – I think you just inspired my outfit for tomorrow!

    I have no sage advice (is that the term?) for you, but just know that we all get in funks…here's hoping things look up soon (PS, totally put too much water in my oatmeal yesterday – I was so mad at myself!!)

  6. you and your outfits?! so cute.

    So I recently asked the same questions to myself about my dream and realized that I was answering it in the process. I thing the only thing that I could tell you is to just do it and have confidence that you are making the right decisions for yourself, be passionate and people will see that you're genuine. 🙂

    I feel as if I'm on the path to pursuing my dream as we speak and I know that I'm headed in the right direction. Good Luck!

  7. Step 1, don't be afraid to admit you have the dreams in the first place. If you already know what they are you're half way there.
    Speaking from inside my own little slice of mid-life crisis, it takes some doing but you can get to where you want to go as long as you keep self doubt at bay.
    Hang in there. It gets better, then worse, then better but embrace your life and give yourself a break now and again.
    Now back to the Real Housewives of NY marathon.

  8. DUDE. I've been having a horrible week, too. Must be something in the air. I have tried to cheese it up on my blog this week, but every photo has the most phony smile ever. This bites. I can't wait for the weekend.

    Anyway, you look wonderful as usual. I really love your hair…I'm getting mine trimmed this weekend and I might have to take a photo of your bangs in to show my stylist. So fab.

    Hope things your week gets better!


  9. aw, sorry to hear you're having a shitty day, friend! sending you a hug in the hopes that you feel better.
    and dreams are hard to follow because sometimes certain dreams conflict with each other (particularly dreams about our personal relationships versus dreams about our careers).
    oh, and on a less deep-thoughts note, i just luurrrve that skirt.

  10. Hey Candy!
    When you find a good course of dream catching (not the ones that involve leather ties, beads and feathers….) sign me up. I will pay you back.
    I'm still waiting for a not funny/eloquent blog post. You never disappoint.

  11. I had "a day" today too. Starting with falling down the stairs in interview clothes and ending with some kid puking on my shoes. I never thought about karma, but now that you mention it…

    Here's hoping your Friday is better!

  12. I find it comforting to know that people are REAL and have real lives! And crack me up – my OOTD title was "orange you glad it's thursday?" Funny

  13. I have that skirt – and I love it – and I love it on you! I totally know what you mean about being too honest on the blog or not being too honest, I struggle with that and try to only talk about the good, but then I have those weeks too! I couldn't agree MORE about the whole "every person you've made fun of turned in their karma" card, I'm totally feeling you there! Hahah!

  14. Thanks for being honest! I think you fabulous here. Love the orange top. And when you do find out how to follow your dreams, do share! I'm figuring that one out myself.

    Don't forget to enter to win a Lime Ricki swimsuit!
    clothed much, a modest fashion blog

  15. How funny that you ended with that last sentence about following your dream because earlier today I read a great quote basically along the same lines. I think the universe is telling me to do something big, to take that leap into the unknown. Cause ya never know, you know? (But frak, if it isn't a scary thing to do).

  16. We must be having the same kind of week, if yours consists of wondering what you're doing with your life. At least there are always cute clothes!

    And in terms of following your dreams, you should try reading Chris Guillebeau at the Art of Non-Conformity. He seems to have figured that out!

  17. I know exactly what you mean about being honest, everyone keeps saying that I'm very honest on my blog but the more people that start reading it, the harder it gets, I want my life to look exciting and interesting so thats the front I put on. Everyone has good and bad weeks so don't let this week get to you.

    I think that skirt looks hot!

  18. i love your honesty… and i wish i would look like this on a day that i didnt feel 100%. those are usually the days i DONT blog and wear jeans, a ratty tshirt, and my glasses. But sometimes, you have to just DO WHAT YOU WANT!

    Loveeeuuuu. ur still fabulous darling. xo, Kim http://www.eatsleepwear.com

  19. i thought "kendi and the real girl" WAS your real life?? your husband is really a life-sized doll, right? i love it when you are honest…er, i mean, have you ever been honest? i wouldn't know for sure. honest or not you are always entertaining.

    i would personally love to hear about your real life.

    this outfit is darling. i love the orange with grey. just simple, chic and you look stunning.

  20. I'm sorry it's been one of those weeks. The blog can be a bit of a double edged sword, no? It's nice to have somewhere that's pretend happy, even when everything else isn't. But sometimes it's just too hard to maintain.

    Hope the weekend beats the tar out of the week!

  21. It's been one of those weeks, heck months for me too. You look aheck a of a lot cuter then me tough, I have let me week over come me and my looks lol.

  22. Just discovered your blog. Already addicted!

    The steps I use to follow my dreams:

    1) Try.
    2) Fail.
    3) Keep trying.
    4) Fail more.
    5) Get depressed, watch lots of TV re-runs, begin the emotional eating.
    6) Eventually hit a wall and realize something's gotta give. Crawl out of the dark room filled with empty Ben n Jerry's cartons into the sunlight.
    7a) Decide it's time to try again.
    7b) Go on a diet.

    Rinse and repeat!

  23. As Beckett put it: “Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.”
    When I was stuck in a crap job I hated, surrounded by truly toxic people, the things that kept me sane were:
    – lovely husband
    – evening classes (good excuse to get out of horrid workplace early and useful focus on Something Different)
    – running (I found that imagining I was stamping on the heads of those who had displeased me helped enormously)
    I do hope that next week is a better one. A final thought from Churchill: if you're going through Hell, keep going.

  24. Despite having a bad week, you still have managed to put together some amazing looks. I love the skirt in this one and if Modcloth didn't have insane international shipping I would snap it up. Hope you're having a better week next week because you deserve it.

  25. none of us are perfect, girl, and i like people that much more when they admit that =)
    you should read The Alchemist – it's all about following your dreams and will give you a new perspective, guaranteed!

  26. Orange you cute? Yes, U'll be here all week…literally.
    YES this has been the crappiest week of my life in quite a while. I just keep thinking positively and knowing that this too, shall pass. And it will.

  27. I try to follow my dreams in my career and spare time, but honestly more as hobbies. I fell into my profession by following opportunities that were interesting to me, that was my only criteria. And it worked out. Maybe that's my advice? Yes, follow what's interesting to you. You may be surprised. And my job is great, even though it wasn't exactly my childhood dream. I wanted to be a marine biologist living and researching on a boat. Oh, and an Olympic swimmer. Instead, I'm a political scientist and amateur triathlete/swimmer. So I spend the extra time my job affords me following my 'real' dreams (sports and the ocean) and that makes me happy and also better at my job. So maybe find a side project or hobby that allows you to follow your dreams? Good luck figuring it all out!!

  28. oh girl, i feel like one of "those days/weeks" has been ongoing since i graduated college 3 years ago! i always dreamt big, but the closer i got, the more i realized that wasn't the direction i wanted to go. now, i'm completely clueless at 25 and currently working a job i hate!

    PS. i was just told by an online resume reviewer that my resume was crap and i was sabotaging (spelling?) myself. good to know.


  29. Oh, Kendi…are you me? Am I you? I know what those days slash weeks are like. If you DO find that class on following your dress, please fill me in. OK? Thanks.


  30. I've been having one of those weeks, too. Yesterday, I over slept for no reason … by 2 hours … and everyone in the office judged me with a look as if to say, "Yeah. I would have loved to just sleep in, too." … like they've never done it. Amongst a long list of other things … but as for following your dreams: yesterday, I asked myself, "what would i continue to do if i had all the money in the world" and now that I've found my answer, I'm running after it … like full-speed ahead.

    Have you thought about blogging full-time? You're just so talented and witty.

  31. I totally hear you when it comes to the 'what and how much do I share on the blog' I appreciate it when bloggers remind their readers that, well, it's an edited version of life they're presenting. I did that the other day on mine as well. You're a seriosly stylish lady, a fabulous writer and an awesome wife by the sounds of things. Hang in there sweet and keep chasing those dreams. Sending positive vibes your way, xox

  32. I had a hard week too. On wednesday I cried not one, but THREE times. Like a baby.

    It is hard to be honest in the blog-o-sphere. You don't want to just upchuck your problems all over unsuspecting readers…but the truth is people do appreciate honesty. AND people want relate, and life is hard for everyone (even if most of the time your looking on the brightside and wearing rosey glasses) so share what you want with your readers girl. We're ready for it.

    P.s. I don't know what your dreams are…but if they have anything to do with being an everyday woman's fashion icon. Well, my friend. You are on your way. People love this blog and I really hope you make it big!

  33. I got fired about 7 years ago and that basically forced me to re-think my career, so sometimes your dreams happen to you in what seems like an unpleasant way at fist. Now that I'm the head designer of a huge professional theatre, I realize that if I had never gotten fired, I would never be where I am now. So chin up, lady! It's always darkest before the dawn.

    And as for your modcloth skirt- I have a question. I've never ordered clothing from their site before, but I'm curious about the fit and the size charts. Did you find the size chart to be accurate? Obviously the skirt looks great on you and appears to fit beautifully, so I assume they were pretty accurate…

    Hope next week is better than this one. (I find that Ben & Jerry's Boston Cream Pie ice cream always makes me feel better.)

  34. Love the outfit! And look at all these comments!! You are loved.

    To follow your dreams:

    1. Decide what they are and WRITE THEM DOWN.

    2. Write out how far you'd like to progress towards your dreams by a certain time. Do this first for this week, then this month, then this year, 5 years…

    3. Make sure these intermediate steps are – measurable – achievable – realistic – all of them. Write them in terms of what you will do, not what will come of those actions.

    4. Make a weekly plan with three things you will accomplish towards achieving your dreams. Check up on yourself at the end of each week. Record your progress.

    Most of all, know what you want in the end, and visualize it every day. Let go, and just take some action. Do something that moves you forward.

    Take a step, and the next step will be revealed to you. Believe in yourself. You will do this.

    Much love,

  35. Step 1) Say EFF YOU to convention.

    My boss at my most recent job told me that I had to get used to: -Working 40 hours a week whether I need the money or not
    -Not seeing my husband 5 days a week so I could work those hours
    -Letting poor management cause problem that I suffer because of.

    Her reason? "Because that's the Real World!" To which I said, "EFF YOU!" and quit.

    In less than 4 weeks my husband and I are moving to California to work TOGETHER on an organic farm. It's not a 40 hour week, the work is unpredictable, and the pay isn't great. But I'd rather thrift my clothes, live in a smaller apartment, and be at the whims of the weather than wear a staunchy uniform, accept the norm, and suffer. =]

    Happiness is worth more than a bigger place, bigger TV, or bigger bank account. That's the lesson I'm learning.

  36. As a fellow dreamer- sometimes life tests our determination- what do I do on these occasions? Allow myself to cry for a bit,maybe have a little frozen yogurt, then I pick myself up and re-read my favorite inspirational book- the Alchemist.

    Tests are what make achieving our dreams worthwhile!

    Love the blog- keep writing;-)

  37. Honesty is easy….you just have to not worry so much about how you want to be perceived by others. I'm not saying be mean or hurtful…but being honest and truthful with how you feel can only make your life more authentic. (wow I sound like Oprah!)

    Following your dreams takes courage. There are many happy people out there who decided to follow their dreams/passions and integrate that into their life which is why they're satisfied and content. Depending on what you want to do…it may be a risk financially (whether you quit your day job or move to a new place etc etc) but you're young Kendi. You have so much talent and creativity in you that all you need to do is channel that and take a chance on yourself. If you're really passionate about your "dreams" then only you can bring that to fruition. There are many excuses you can tell yourself to not move forward in life in respect to doing something you truly want to….but those are truly excuses. You CAN follow your dreams…..you just need to believe in yourself and trust yourself….everything else will fall into place.

    Well, that's my two cents. : )

  38. lovet this outfit and i am particularly liking the heels… I love the wood heel with the black shoe. I hope your weekend is better… I know bad days! And how come they always come in strings of days… not just one?

  39. Great outfit. Thanks for being so honest – I think that's the first step to things getting better. Not sure I can help with advice on following your dreams but I am hoping that things get better for you soon.

  40. Hi darling! I just found your blog and I love your fashion sense and your writing style. I think I have the perfect quote for you on my most recent blog post, too. We have to follow our dreams.

  41. I'm sorry to hear you aren't having the best of weeks. Try not to worry about us though! At least I understand that you are human and I don't expect you to be happy and cheerful everyday. Of course I wish you happiness, but you shouldn't feel guilty for not writing happy things on your blog if that isn't what you are truly feeling.

    In terms of the dreams, don't feel discouraged. We all feel hopeless in our pursuit of dreams at some point along the way, but the important thing is to get up and keep fighting for your dream. My personal strategy towards achieving my dreams is to create a list of all the things that need to happen in order to achieve the dream. I create baby steps on what I need to do to someday accomplish my goals. That way I have a plan and a clear idea of what needs to be done. That's just my way of doing it though, I'm sure you will find your own.

    I hope you feel better soon and don't forget that we are all here to support you for when you are happy and when you are not.


  42. I've followed my dreams, and they haven't always led me where I wanted to go… sometimes, we're lucky to not get what we want.

    BUT… to follow the dreams, both the good and bad, I had to imagine the worst possible outcome that could result… and then decide if I was okay with it. Then I jumped and hoped for the best!

    I'm sorry this week hasn't been as awesome as it should have been. Pretty sure there's been an epidemic of that. 😉

  43. Oh my, I am right there with you! I currently work at a job that is nothing like what I thought I wanted. And now I'm 27 and not sure how to get from where I am, to where I want to be (I'm not even 100% sure of where it is I want to be!!).

    They should definitely offer a class in college explaining the steps to your dream job/life.

    P.S. I LOVE that your tall and where heels a lot. I'm 5'10 (with a 5'8 fiance), so heels don't happen for me very often…

  44. Yeah, honesty can be a problem, especially when you think your blog readers only want happy go lucky. It's not true though. It's nice to be reminded that people are real.

  45. You know what?! I'm feeling the same way lately. Some days are better than others, but as a normally positive, happy, optimistic person, this funk is really shaking me up… and I can't seem to shake it. URGH.

    Anyways, I love your blog and your writing (as I've said) is so entertaining, real and enjoyable to read – and if that doesn't make you smile, just keep up the great work because you make US (other bloggers) smile 🙂

    A.Co @ A.Co est. 1984

  46. I am having the same kind of week. It does not make blogging fun, does it? I can barely leave intellegent comments, right now, I'm so distracted by my karma ass kicking.

    There is a lot of good advice in these comments. I'm going to go skim it myself.

    In the meantime, hang in there lady! You are too fabulous not to.

  47. I like your outfits and your style!

    I am following you now. Looking forward to reading your future posts!

    Hope you will stop by my blog and follow me soon :).

  48. i'd start by writing out your dreams — seeing things in print always motivates me more.

    you look gorgeous as always — i hope you're relaxing this weekend!

  49. I just realized I had this post buried in my dozens of browser tabs I keep open because I want to read them all over and over. I'm sorry you are/were feeling so down! I feel like there is this weird twentysomething ennui catching and I can't help but shake myself and my closest friends and ask, "What are we going to do with ourselves?"

    As for you, girlfriend, you are doing a fine job of being yourself everyday. Well atleast, as far as I can tell through the web.

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