We didn't get outfit photos this morning and I don't have any in the arsenal waiting to post. And for the first time in a long time, I'm okay with this. I can describe my outfit for you if you'd like -- it's a black maxi dress, sandals, hair in a bun, the usual for a running late kind of morning. The reason we didn't get photos was because I got about 4 hours of sleep last night. This is actually a very typical night for me. This is what I don't tell you about owning a business. Yes, it's a lot of fun but you lose a lot of sleep. In fact, when I sleep through the night again I'm buying everyone a drink. The thing is when you don't sleep a lot, you don't want to take pictures of yourself with your dark-circled eyes. And that my friends, is what it is.
This post is not here to say that it's hard to run a business, because well it is. In fact that's why I've never really talked about opening the shop on here because to be honest, this past year has been the hardest year of my life. Year 27 will go down in the books as many things -- the year of starting my business, the year of making a ton of mistakes, the year of exhaustion. But a good year, a very good year in that. But today I decided that I was tired and that I wasn't going to waste my time trying to make people think that I wasn't.
Most days I have it together. Most days. Somedays I don't and I just need you to know that. Just in case you don't have it all together, too. Maybe we can be friends and tell each other it's okay to be a mess sometimes.
I think that one of the biggest lessons I've learned this year is that just because something is hard doesn't mean that's it bad. I'm a very black and white person. Something is either good or bad, happy or sad. (And also I'm a Dr. Suess fan.) But the older I get the more I learn how grey life really is. I've always wanted Kendi Everyday to be a positive place -- probably because deep in my heart I want so desperately to be an optimist, which I am not. Outfits are happy, so I stick to outfits. But today I would just like to be Kendi, if that's okay. I'd like to share my story of how I started the shop and my journey along the way. Not right now of course because none of those words have made it to paper quite yet. But someday, I'd like to. You know when we were kids and if you didn't say something when someone questioned the truth, it still counted as a lie? Well, I've been quiet even though I know the truth and I'm tired of being afraid of what's honest. Yes, outfits are pretty, but so is life, even when it's trying, hard, and exhausting. Even when it kicks your cutely dressed ass.
This post really serves no other purpose other than to say, 'hey guys I'm tired trying to look perfect all the damn time.' I'm quite okay with not being perfect, so I'm not sure why I've been obsessed with making sure my life looks squeaky clean. So let's have a moment of silence for my well-scrubbed life. It's nice to see her go.