Motherhood at 4 Months

I will admit it’s taken me a second to figure out how I want to talk about Gemma on here. At once I want to share everything about her because she is just sugar and gold, but on the other hand, I want to protect her privacy as much as I can. I talked to B about it and he said some wise words — he suggested I talk about Gemma from our point of view since right now this is our experience with her as a baby. And when she is old enough to speak to her own experiences we can re-evaluate how we share her life on the internet. So I decided that I’ll update her life through my own lense, the view from motherhood. Oh and also, I got some sleep so this post has a 50% higher chance that it will make sense and I’ll use the correct words!

So what has miss Gemma been up to? Hoo boy, is that a loaded question. Take a seat and get comfortable because this girl is a trip to funtown.

Sleep

Let’s start with the old dreaded subject of sleep. I have come to peace with the fact that some babies don’t sleep that well and that is Gemma. Our doctor says she is as normal as normal can be so I’ve tried to unwind that part of my brain that was so tied up in knots about her sleeping x amount of hours every day. Now don’t get me wrong, she is getting better and better at transitioning out of the swaddle and rock n play she slept in for her first 4 months to her crib.  (More on this in a second) But homegirl just doesn’t love to sleep very long. There is too much life to be lived! Naps are usually no longer than 30 minutes — I mean she pops those eyes open at the 30-minute mark every time. Every once in a while she will surprise us with a 2-hour nap, but as she is getting older her naps are getting shorter, even with no change in schedule or process. So we just know that’s Gemma’s schedule. She’s happy, so we are happy. When she turned 4 months old, (last month actually, I’m a little behind on this update!) the pediatrician kindly recommended that we stop swaddling since she is rolling and to get her in her own bed and out of the rock n’play. I knew this news was coming. But Miss Gemma likes a swaddle and hates basically everything else. Ha! She has moro reflex — laymen’s term it’s where the babies slap themselves awake in the night on accident — and I asked my friends what they used for transitioning and the Merlin Sleep Suit was the number one suggestion. It has an almost perfect review from Amazon so I just knew this was the answer. She liked it for about a week and then decided it was the enemy. (I ended up finding this swaddle transition sleep sack and LOVE it. She loves her hands by her face and this lets her have them close by without slapping herself awake. True story.) Around month 4 is also when she started a month-long phase where she wouldn’t sleep unless she was touching me in some form. We called this phase ABT — always be touching. We became accidental co-sleepers, but didn’t really have a choice. (Not that co-sleeping is bad! It just was never anything we were planning on.) Sleeping on me was what Gemma needed at 4 months old. We are transitioning out of this now, which I’m so grateful for because as much as I love the snuggles, it’s very hard to sleep with a tiny human on your chest. Last week we tried putting her in her crib for naps and it went okay. I couldn’t believe it. I tried not to get my hopes up but we started moving her night time routine to her room. And surprisingly it works for about half the night and I will take it. She is gaining independence in her crib and I’m able to sleep a little bit more. She has slept in her crib for half a night now for 4 days which means I’ve gotten more sleep in the last 4 days than I have in a month. So as I’m writing this I can’t believe it’s only been 4 days; time is not linear with a newborn. Also, what was I even doing with my life when I got 8 hours of full sleep. Sure we ran businesses, but I should have been studying to go to the moon with all that sleep and energy. I should have been training for triathlons. Or at least my house should have been cleaner.

So all that to say, right now I feel like we are finally on the right track with sleep. Hip-hip-hooray. I shall report back next month. We shall see.

Eat

Gemma is still exclusively on the bottle since we haven’t hit that 6-month mark for solids.  She is a pretty good eater and will definitely let you know when she is hungry and when she is not. She literally swats the bottle away when she is full. I love a girl who knows what she wants. She has started holding her bottle and pulling it to her mouth like such a big girl. She can’t quite hold it up as it’s heavy for her but she can get the bottle in her mouth and for this mama, that is amazing. In February we can start solids, and I think she’ll be pleasantly surprised. I mean what do I know? Gemma will be what she will be. 😉

Play

Gemma has so much energy and she is so alert and active. If she is awake, we are moving. She doesn’t stay in one place for very long — and ya’ll she can’t physically move her body yet. What am I even going to do when she starts crawling?! I’m gonna close all the doors and follow her around the house is what I’m gonna do. When we are sitting with her she constantly pulls up to stand and once she is standing she rocks forward. The other day she rocked forward so hard that she fell face first into some pillows on the couch … and thought it was the funniest thing in the world. So we do some daredevil things like that — we fall into pillows, we do airplane which she loves, we bounce on the bed. If it seems like it would scare her, she loves it. I mean to an extent — I’m not signing her up for rock climbing lessons or taking her to haunted houses. It cracks me up, she knows no fear. She just laughs and laughs. Her dad is also her favorite toy in the world. She is endlessly fascinated by his beard. Anything he does is gold to her. It’s just precious to see her light up when he walks into the room even if he has been gone for 30 seconds. (#ABT)

She got an activity center for Christmas — that’s right a big, bulky colorful toy that I said would never be sitting in my living room is…sitting in my living room. She likes that and her play mat that we spend time on. She also loves anything crunchy — her soft books or stuffed animals that have that crinkly sound. I call it crunchy because I’m pretty much always thinking about chips. Some toys we like better than others, some we like for about 30 seconds and get frustrated at but I know it’s all a part of development. I can see her little wheels a-turning when she plays, just learning so much every single day.

Talk

Gemma loves to sing and squeal. She’s developed a very high pitched squeal that comes out when she’s really excited and really sad. So there’s that. Her favorite song right now is the classic Itsy Bitsy Spider. When that sun comes out and dries up all the rain, man, there is NOTHING better. She starts her own little tunes sometimes and we sing along with her. Ya’ll we are clowns 99% of the time. If you could see the things we do, you would die laughing. I told B, I missed my calling as a children’s tv show actor. I would have killed on Sesame Street as the resident adult. Gemma’s also started blowing bubbles, so of course, I think she’s a bona fide genius.

As far as motherhood goes, life is best with sleep. I can absolutely function well on 4-6 hours of interrupted sleep and I’ve got to say — I didn’t know I had it in me. I love being with Gemma every day, she’s such a light and she’s just so darn happy. Every morning when she wakes she has this sweet little smile on her face that just sets the mood for the whole day. Life at 4 months with Gemma is so fun and I hear it only gets to be even better.

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  1. 01.08.18 · Reply
  2. CW says:

    I highly recommend the book “The Baby Whisperer,” which will help you get your baby sleeping and napping for wonderfully long stretches. I have 3 boys (twins, too) and that book helped sync up their schedules literally overnight. Honestly, get the book.

    01.08.18 · Reply
    • Cynthia says:

      I completely second this. Try get The Baby Whisperer Solves all your Problems. She saved my sanity with sleep training, first solids, weaning and transition to big boy/girl bed.

      01.12.18 · Reply
  3. Steph says:

    Oh love! I have two girls, ages 11 and 7. The sleep gets better, I promise. You sound like you are doing an excellent job surrendering to the moment (much better than I ever did). It is a joy to relive this with you!

    01.08.18 · Reply
  4. Kim says:

    Your baby is absolutely precious!

    Kim

    http://trendkeeper.me .. new year, will travel!

    01.08.18 · Reply
  5. Rachel says:

    Gosh, it does get better. The baby time is so special, though! Really, all stages are fun. My little guy is almost 5 and every day is new.

    01.08.18 · Reply
    • Kendi Everyday says:

      Almost 5! I can’t even begin to imagine Gemma at five — but I know it will happen faster than I realize. Thank you for saying it gets better — I’ve never valued sleep so much!

      01.09.18 · Reply
  6. Kate says:

    she is so beautiful! It’s fun to read these updates about her!

    01.08.18 · Reply
    • Kendi Everyday says:

      Kate you are so kind!! Thanks love!

      01.09.18 · Reply
  7. Kaci says:

    The Love to Dream Sleep Sack was a game changer for us. Love! I wish it worked on 16 month olds… Gemma is an absolute doll! Congratulations! XOXO

    01.08.18 · Reply
    • Kendi Everyday says:

      LOVE IT. I mean I tried everything. I was SO grateful this works!! Do you do the ones with the arms out? How is it at 16 months? Do their arms finally settle?? ha.

      01.09.18 · Reply
  8. Thank you for sharing your little bundle with all of us. It took me and my heart right back to when the girls were babies. My most confident moments as a mother’s were BEFORE I became an actual mother. 11 years and two girlies later I know now that we are just all trying to do right by our little beauties. Gemma seems like a very, happy, go lucky, adventure seeking baby.

    bosbodaciousblog.blogspot.ca

    01.08.18 · Reply
  9. Nadine says:

    Our son just turned 3 months and your comments about how to share Gemma on the internet really hit home with me. My husband and I have had so many conversations about this. I like that you’re sharing motherhood from your perspective and I think that’s a good way to go about it.

    01.08.18 · Reply
    • Kendi Everyday says:

      Yeah it’s so hard to navigate. I try to think before I post something — would this embarrass me if I came across it on the internet later? I never want her to stumble upon something and say Mom why did you share this?! Thanks for your encouragement! Also — happy 3 months!

      01.09.18 · Reply
  10. Darcy Friedmann says:

    Girl, I wish we had been as chill as y’all with our firstborn! We were (are) older parents and thought we had it all under control — along came baby and We. Didn’t. Have. A . Freaking. Clue! It took three months of sleep exhaustion to break us, then things got a lot easier. We were a lot more relaxed with our second child. If we had a third, it would have been raised by wolves, so we stopped at two, ’cause who needs wolves to take care of…
    Y’all are doing great. Enjoy the ride!

    01.08.18 · Reply
    • Kendi Everyday says:

      I’m 99% sure it’s because we are in our 30s. Bah! We’ve talked about how we would have been a strung up mess if we’d tried being parents before this. OH AND WE ARE DEFINITELY BROKEN. I can see why they use sleep deprivation as torture. It’s mean. If I had a word for it, mean. Just mean. Props to you for having two!! I hear you on the wolves…probably best we stop at one. Ha!

      01.09.18 · Reply
  11. Mireia says:

    Absolutely love it!

    Mireia from TGL
    https://thegoldlipstick.com/

    01.09.18 · Reply
  12. kelsey says:

    She is so precious and I think you and B are wonderful parents! Congrats on being WAY more chill than us 🙂

    01.09.18 · Reply
  13. Hi Kendi, she is so precious,Awwwwww My Mom once said to me to enjoy the time I had with my kids because time flies and they’re almost grown up. I have 3 adult women now and its like icing on the cake..Bless you and your family

    01.09.18 · Reply
  14. Shelby says:

    Hi from Austin! Gemma is so adorable! I’ve got a 15-month-old (who’s still big into ABT, to be honest), and reading this made me a little nostalgic. I work from home too and was wondering if you’d be up for sharing a little about how you’ve managed to find the balance between working from home and momming. It’s something I still struggle with, and I’m always curious how other work-from-home moms deal with it. Thanks!

    01.10.18 · Reply
  15. Trude says:

    That face! So precious. I’m loving these posts since I’m due with a girl next month. Can’t wait! 🙂

    01.11.18 · Reply
  16. Kristin says:

    My daughter was a swaddle addict, too, and I dreaded the day we had to transition out of the swaddle. We also tried the Merlin Sleep Suit, and all it did was seriously piss off the baby – really not helpful. I ended up finding (and, I’ll confess, having shipped to me overnight because I was desperate) the Zipadeezip suits, which were our lifesaver. My daughter wore those until somewhere between 12 and 18 months and they kept her sleeping soundly.

    01.14.18 · Reply
  17. Mandie says:

    The thing I found with all three of my babies is that consistency is key. Babies love routine and they love knowing what is coming next. So doing all of your routines around the same time will help get her in her routine! But also, sleeping on their own is something they have to learn with time. And she has only been doing it for four months! Give her more time. She will get there! And one day soon you will sleep through the night! Sounds like you are doing a great job!! She is precious!

    02.08.18 · Reply