Bump Update: 20 weeks

I thought since we made it half way and we’ve got an official bump I’d do a little post about my pregnancy so far!

Last December, when we found out I was pregnant, to use the word surprise would be an understatement. We got married at 23 and we knew we didn’t want kids right away so our joke was always five more years…every five years. Turns out, our math was not that off. In the meantime, we pursued careers, a wedding photography business, our retail stores and of course, Kendi Everyday. It was never feasible for us to stop and think about having a child just yet. After we closed our shop last spring, we knew our 5 year rule needed to be shortened. We knew sooner than later would be best. But then we put it off again. Of course, little did we know our ‘5 years’ would turn into just a few short months. Perfect timing, if I do say so myself.

I actually wasn’t convinced I was pregnant even though I had two positive sticks staring back at me. (What can I say? I’m a hard sell.) So when we made our first appointment at the doctor’s office, I was a bit skeptical, seriously. And then we heard the heartbeat and that’s when it all became real, in a really good way. When the doctor said ‘that’s your baby’s heartbeat’ Bryan and I both looked at each other the same way I assume all first time parents look at each other. Somewhere in between scared and ecstatic.

My first trimester was not something I’d like to repeat ever again, thank you very much. I will not go into any details mainly for your sake but also because I’m trying to forget those memories faster than a bad date. I kept clinging to how everyone said 2nd trimester and you’ll feel good again. I was counting down, you guys. Every day was one day closer to the promise land. Once my 2nd trimester hit…I got the flu. The mother freaking flu. You guys, I thought I was never going to feel normal ever again. But once the flu got through with me, a miracle happened: I started to feel like a human again. Well as human as a woman housing a small human can feel. But limited nausea and a full functioning brain again?? I. will. take. it.

So let’s get to the fun stuff!

Little baby Skeen (LBS) is currently 11 oz and I think they said the size of a banana. Don’t worry, I definitely pick up all the fruit at the grocery store and push it against my stomach and ask Bryan if he can believe that’s inside of me.

LBS is currently kicking at all times. When we got the sonogram, he/she were all over the place. We still haven’t been able to get that classic profile sonogram yet because this one is a tiny dancer. But we did get their feet and that’s adorable. (And also comforting.) ย They say that they can hear you in the womb. A few things this baby has heard: irrational crying about nothing, me singing really loud to the radio, me cursing when I accidentally sneeze and pee. This baby may be rethinking his or her placement in our home.

We do know the gender…but we aren’t telling yet. Hehe. Let’s just say it’s a boy or a girl. That’s helpful right?

People ask all the time about names but we are keeping mum on that as well. We’ve got it down to a few favorites but naming a human feels very important. I do think it’s funny that complete strangers will ask gender and name when they find out I’m expecting. I’m always like — do you want to know my name first or nah?

Luckily I’m not craving crazy nasty things. (Except one. I’ll get to that later.) I still like grilled chicken, sweet potatoes, basically all vegetables and fruits, fiber cereals and oatmeal, and black bean burgers. Randomly enough those are my favorite things right now. But you know what else is my favorite right now?

ALL THE SWEETS.

Look I love chocolate as much as the next person, but I’ve always been really restricted when it comes to sweets and desserts. SO this craving is out of control for me. I literally can not keep things in the house or it will be gone. Not in a matter of minutes, but definitely in a matter of days. The two things that I’m almost always craving? Chocolate chip cookies and…gummy worms. Thats the crazy nasty I was talking about above. I honestly don’t think I’ve had gummy worms in 27 years. Seriously the last time I remember having a gummy worm was kindergarten and Im pretty sure I just dug them out of my dirt pudding and ate the pudding. Are these high quality gummy worms you ask? Nope. The cheap knock off brand from Target. I can’t believe I just admitted that on the internet. Also, send gummies.

The list of things I hate right now is actually way longer than the love list. Pasta, pizza, fried chicken, bacon, Chinese food. What pregnant woman hates pizza?!?! I can stand it every once I a while but honestly no. I can’t and I won’t. Just typing it write now makes me grimace. So I guess most of the items on my aversion list are unhealthy so it’s probably for the best. But damn, Pizza — I miss you, boo.

Besides the obvious questions up front, the other question I’ve been getting has been: what have you bought for the baby? I feel like this answer is going to surprise you.

Not much.

I am usually the fastest decision maker on all things. I’m not kidding. I walked into our house on like a Thursday and we bought it the following Monday. It does not take me more than a few minutes to make a decision. ( I contribute this to years of buying for the store. I am incredibly efficient at decisions on the go.) But with the baby I am at a standstill. Technically not knowing gender slowed a few decisions down. But last week I finally bought a few onesies but ya’ll it took me longer to do that than buying a car. It’s quite hilarious how careful I am with everything.

The other thingsย I’ve purchased have been books. I loved books growing up and I having them be a priority in our house is important to us. So what the little baby does not have in clothing, bedding, or gear, they will make up for in books. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Well no one warned me about the effed up dreams I’d be having. I mean my brain has turned into scenes from Inception and The Never Ending Story. Every night I go to sleep part afraid and part excited about what’s going to be playing on my inner Netflix all night. I typically wake up fully confused the next day. I was trying my best to remember my weirdest ones but luckily those go into a folder in my brain that I’m pretty sure gets deleted at the end of the week. Whew.

I’m finally feeling 100% excited! ( I blame first trimester nausea for only feeling 99% excited before.) But also super ready to speed this puppy along. If you looked up patience in the dictionary, you would not find me there but instead a string of descriptive words that I have no time to read. I have always been this way — if we are going to do this, then let’s do this. But nope, turns out human gestation does not abide by my impatient rules. I am so ready for August it’s not even funny. And that is so not like me, I hate thinking ahead so far. But this baby has got me ready to push time ahead.

Body wise, I really had to come to terms with the changes that are happening and the changes that are to come. I’ve known this body for 32 years and to watch it change — and I don’t just mean the ever growing bump — I mean the other things that happen while making a baby, it’s a bit unnerving. Especially before you have a cute little bump to justify the weird things happening; it sent me into panic mode for a little bit. I feel like when you get pregnant for the first time people just expect you to understand the journey is worth the end result, but for me it took a lot of positive self-talk to understand all of the changes going on. Hormones are flying high, your body is just doing what it needs to do to make and keep a baby, and going from homeostasis to pregnant body within a few short months is a lot to take in. And what I’ve learned is that — that is okay. Realizing how temporary pregnancy is, was really helpful for me. When you’ve never been pregnant before, 9 months seems like the shortest amount of time to create a human. But it’s quite different when you are in that 9 month countdown. I’ve learned to take many deep breathes and be grateful that my body knows how to do this without any advice or help from me. Deep breathes, positive self talk, gratitude and a few hormone fueled cries have been my therapy for those first few months of change. Oh and chocolate chip cookies make for great listening partners.

I think also realizing that while there are common threads with every pregnancy, almost everyone will deal with pregnancy differently. Some people love being pregnant, some not so much. Some gain a lot of weight, others don’t. Some carry for not long enough, others are over due. Every single story is different from my friends and I appreciate hearing all of them and knowing that mine will be different as well. (AKA if you are pregnant too right now, try not to compare yours with anyone else. It will drive you insane.)

I think the thing I’m looking most forward to are those first few moments after delivery. I already envision my husband’s sweet face holding our baby for the first time and I’ll tell you if I wasn’t already pregnant, that would do the trick.

I’m also looking forward to wearing normal jeans again. Lord knows I love me some maternity jeans with that full panel up to my bra. But I feel like I will have a new appreciation for my body and my waist line. Also, I miss front tucking. True story.

And I won’t lie, I’m gonna be pretty excited when I don’t worry about everything little thing I do. Every sneeze, I’m like ‘did I pull something?? Are you okay in there, baby?? ‘ Oh wait. That get’s worse ย when they are here, doesn’t it? ๐Ÿ˜‰

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  1. Hannah says:

    Love your honest update and definitely feel ya on what you wrote about – especially the dreams and sneezing ha. Here’s to August babies!! ?

    04.04.17 · Reply
  2. Mireia says:

    Absolutely love it!

    Mireia from TGL
    https://thegoldlipstick.com/

    04.04.17 · Reply
  3. 04.04.17 · Reply
  4. Katherine says:

    You look so amazing & I’m so thrilled for you!!! xxx

    04.04.17 · Reply
  5. Meredith says:

    I totally feel you on being paralyzed about what to buy. There is so much stuff, and like 50 varieties of each thing, and how the hell are you supposed to know which thing you need? You don’t even have the kid yet! People would even offer me certain things for free because they were done with it, and then it’s like- do I need that? Do I take it because it’s free? What even is that?

    I also had a memorable story from going to register at Buy Buy Baby. It was so overwhelming and I was so pregnant! I still remember the vast wall of bottles and nipples. I left feeling like I’d been hit by a bus. Afterward we went to Bed Bath and Beyond to pick out towels, and when my husband asked which towels I wanted, I just burst into tears. Decision fatigue is real!

    04.04.17 · Reply
  6. Linda Z says:

    Halfway there!!! I hope the second half is as calm and uneventful as possible. Your bump is looking pretty cute! ๐Ÿ™‚

    04.04.17 · Reply
  7. La Bijoux Bella | by mia says:

    Wow, just a parfait timing … you are going to be a beautiful Mother. ๐Ÿ™‚

    ?LA BIJOUX BELLA? | BY MIA | A Creative Lifestyle Blog

    04.04.17 · Reply
  8. Maryann F says:

    Congrats to you! I am a month ahead of you! Due in July !Also , our first. Awesome post as I completely agree with everything. The first time I sneeze in bed was like December or January and I thought I ripped apart my insides, (thank God for Google)! Best of luck you you and your husband.

    04.04.17 · Reply
  9. Bretty says:

    The front tuck and normal jeans are right up top on the list of things I missed most while pregnant too? You got this momma??

    04.04.17 · Reply
  10. I hated pizza too when I was pregnant, and NO ONE loves pizza more than I do. It was so weird. And coffee – the smell sent me running to the bathroom. The good news is, it ends! But the worry… haha, that only gets worse. Wait till you teach LBS to drive… but you have a few years. I am clearly a lot older than you, but I do love reading your posts. Thanks for the update! Hang in there!

    04.04.17 · Reply
  11. Which jeans are you loving with your bump?

    04.04.17 · Reply
  12. Lauren says:

    Hi Kendi, thank you for this post. I found your blog recently and am also recently first-time (well, 14 weeks!) pregnant at 33. Like you, we got married at 23 too and this was a (good) shocker! But I’ve really been struggling with so much of what you mention here, and today I very much needed to hear the part where you said not to compare to others – you’re so very right about that and I’m going to stop right… now! Thanks for posting this and congrats!

    04.04.17 · Reply
  13. I got married at 23 and it’s only been 2 years. Me and hubby kind of have an unspoken rule about baby time being at 5 years, but who knows. We may not be ready then. I really like this post.

    Mich x

    04.04.17 · Reply
  14. Rach says:

    I love this update!! So happy that you are starting to feel better and I’m sure the next 6 months will fly by. Before we know it, we will be seeing Baby Skeen on Kendie Everyday!
    rel=”nofollow”>www.rdsobsessions.com

    04.04.17 · Reply
  15. Amanda says:

    Thanks for your honest post. I agree with almost everything. I’m not due until September, but I am not looking forward to the random people asking me questions or touching me. My husband and I also always talked about our hypothetical kids in the future, but I guess it came sooner than later! Also, I don’t know who these women are that love being pregnant. It kinda sucks and it’s ok to admit it!

    04.04.17 · Reply
  16. You look so super cute! Congrats ๐Ÿ™‚ I’ve heard that pregnancy dreams are crazy!

    04.04.17 · Reply
  17. Brittany says:

    Yay! Kendi I’m excited for you. I used to ready your blog like errrrrday years ago. And I found you on Instagram and was like what! Haha funny how the internet makes me feel like I know you and that were old friends. Okay creepy stalker rant over. Just wanted to say congrats! โค๏ธ

    04.04.17 · Reply
  18. I love your writing style, its casual and fun to read but you can get your point across too

    04.04.17 · Reply
  19. Mica says:

    You look so good – love the striped dress on you! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Although like you said every pregnancy is different it’s still nice to read, although my pregnancy days are behind me and I have 2 toddlers now it’s funny seeing the things that are different and similar between people. I missed doing the half tuck too in pregnancy! I’m petite so normal tops swamp me, maternity tops were like tunics. Took my last pregnancy for me to figure out I needed to go for form-fitting maternity tops. That worked much better for me! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Hope you are having a really good week so far.

    Away From The Blue Blog

    04.04.17 · Reply
  20. MS says:

    This was so fun to read. Thank you for sharing such a sweet insight into your life! Congrats on halfway!

    04.05.17 · Reply
  21. TV says:

    Nice bump ๐Ÿ˜‰ You and your baby look so beautiful. All the best for You.

    04.05.17 · Reply
  22. Lauren says:

    YAY for being halfway done! That first trimester can be sooo rough. I also got the flu while pregnant and know how horrible it can be. I actually don’t remember much from that week because I was in such a horrible fog of sickness!! Hope the rest of the pregnancy is easy for you!

    By Lauren M

    04.05.17 · Reply
  23. Courtney says:

    Kendi, I’ve been following you for a few years and have always loved your style but the fact that I’m ALSO 20 weeks pregnant means you’re really helping me figure out how to dress this bump! I was super pumped to discover I’d have a style mentor throughout this pregnancy, so thank you! And congrats!

    04.05.17 · Reply
  24. Annie says:

    Congratulations! I know you’ll be getting tons of advice, but as a relatively new mom, here’s my two cents:
    Don’t over buy! That’s what baby showers are for. Also, if there’s some baby gadget that allllll your friends/family/whoever says you need but you just aren’t into, don’t get it. Despite what everyone told me, I never had a boppy, bumbo, swing or mamaroo (the baby must haves of the day) and we turned out just fine.
    New babies don’t need much in the way of clothes – onesies and pjs are all we wore for MONTHS. My favorite brand is Basal Baby (basalbaby.com) – it’s subscription based and all organic so you don’t have to leave your home to shop ๐Ÿ™‚
    Hope you enjoy the rest of your pregnancy! Thank you for sharing it with all of us.

    04.05.17 · Reply
  25. Laura Klenda says:

    Oh, glad you’re feeling better! And who knew sneezing could be so scary?!?

    I had the exact same food cravings/aversions as you, (and had a girl, so that’s my guess! ?) and sadly, am STILL too scarred by pizza over a year later to eat it.

    04.05.17 · Reply
  26. Dani says:

    CONGRATS! I loved your little update & this look!! I’m 17 weeks along & LOVE front tucking as well, so I purchased side-panel maternity jeans. I love Paige, but also just purchased DL Brand & Citizens of Humanity makes awesome ones too! (can find on ShopBop!) I’m seriously obsessed with them! xo

    04.05.17 · Reply
  27. CBS says:

    I’m four weeks ahead of you and just now feeling relief from morning sickness. It’s the pits!

    I hear you on the indecisive thing. I’m super decisive, trust my gut, and all that and we cannot decide on a pram. I have spent more time thinking about prams than I have about universities, jobs, big purchases. I think my pram standards are perhaps too high as well – small footprint, foldable (live in city centre), usable from birth, and not thousands of dollars.

    I’ve gotten loads of handmedowns thus far and while I think I had a Pinterest baby room mapped out in my head, I’m open to the handmedowns. I guess I’d rather do the super cute decorating when they can appreciate it a bit more? Or spend the money on trips?

    04.06.17 · Reply
  28. Courtney says:

    Loved this! You are hilarious and those of us who have been long-time readers love sgen you share more! Glad you’re out of the first trimester! We promise to send gummies if you promise more bump updates….Bumpdates! ๐Ÿ™‚

    04.06.17 · Reply
  29. Tania says:

    Ah, you’re looking so lovely and I just loved reading this. Keep the bump updates coming! I hear you on gear and buying things…so overwhelming I’ve basically avoided it completely. Christopher meanwhile is like, “We have to set up the crib NOW.”
    And amen on the gummies. I’ve always been a sweets girl and pregnancy has definitely turned me off of some crazy things (a sudden aversion for chocolate????) but gummies and especially sour gummies have stayed near and dear.
    Let’s find a way to be in the same place. We can eat gummy worms and drink coconut water and cry over nothing together.

    04.06.17 · Reply
  30. Whitney says:

    I’m so excited for you! My first pregnancy, I was so sick, too! I couldn’t even keep water down and ended up on Zofran for a little longer than the first trimester. It helped me be able to eat, but I still felt so miserable. Looking back, I’m pretty sure I had some prenatal depression (you hear so much about postpartum, but no one ever talks about how those crazy pregnancy hormones can leave you feeling so emotionally flat). It made me really worried about postpartum depression, but I was really lucky and felt WONDERFUL after having the baby!

    It also made me really nervous about getting pregnant again, but my due date for the second baby is in 5 days, and this pregnancy has been SO much easier! Hoping the same for you if you choose to get pregnant again in the future ๐Ÿ™‚ I had some nausea and exhaustion but only threw up like 3 times. I kept thinking, “this is the morning sickness everyone else talks about! This is so much easier!”

    04.24.17 · Reply