You, Me, and Everyone We Know


11.22.10h{Shop: TeeScarf, Boots}
Some days I have to tell myself to calm down. Not like calm down and stop jumping on couches, although I was told that the other night by my husband, but just in general. Calm down and breath. The world will still be spinning, even if you stop to watch it for a second. 
One of my favorite quotes in the world is this: “comparison is the thief of joy.” I need this imprinted on the backs of my eyelids. I mean, hey comparison is normal, it’s human. But it’s not always right. When I start to compare myself with anyone else in the world, I immediately lose my footing on my own level path. If I compare myself to make me feel better, I lose. If I compare myself to someone better than me and feel less important, I lose. If there is one lesson to be learned, it’s that there is no way of comparing yourself and winning. You will always lose, even if you win the comparison, because you let someone else tell you who to be. Life’s not a competition until you make it one. And in my mind, we will all walk away with shiny trophies just for participating. (Personally, I hope my trophy says “World’s Best Dad”) 
Calm down and just be. Be who you are. You are the only one who can be that good at being you. 


126 Notes

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  1. Allison says:

    Ok, these pictures are seriously GORGEOUS! You are beautiful!

    11.22.10 · Reply
  2. Elizabeth says:

    Love this! My Aunt always tells me that we are human BEINGS not human doings and sometimes being is all we really need to do.

    11.22.10 · Reply
  3. Well said! Couldn't agree more and totally agree with breathing. It seems obvious, but it's not.
    Oh, and of course you and the photos are gorgeous.

    11.22.10 · Reply
  4. kskeen27 says:

    Elizabeth —

    that's brilliant. Human beings, not doings. I love it.

    Thanks guys for the compliments on the photos. My husband is a magic man with that camera I swear.

    11.22.10 · Reply
  5. Monica says:

    Beautiful pictures!

    11.22.10 · Reply
  6. Natalie says:

    love that outfit!

    11.22.10 · Reply
  7. Carrie says:

    Love that next to last photo – beautiful! I couldn't agree more – be who you ARE, not who you think people want you to be. Learning that and getting it ingrained in me was life-changing. And freeing. Very freeing. Blessings to you – the authentic YOU – and Happy Thanksgiving!

    11.22.10 · Reply
  8. Ashley says:

    I love the warmth your smile brings to these pictures!

    That is truely a great mantra! I feel like I need an etsy print of it or something…or a Kendi print of it!

    11.22.10 · Reply
  9. gorgeous photos and words! Love it!

    11.22.10 · Reply
  10. sharonlei says:

    Kendi, you are beautiful!! The last three photos are my fav…. πŸ™‚

    xx Love & Aloha

    11.22.10 · Reply
  11. annie says:

    I think if we all felt a little bit more free to be authentic, life would be a lot easier. So much of the frustrations I face come from the fact that I either compare myself to others or feel compared to… What if we were all just easier on ourselves and others? Great thoughts, and beautiful photos, as usual. Love the fall colors!

    11.22.10 · Reply
  12. i love this post, kendi! we all need to be reminded that we are constantly on our own path, not anyone else's and thus, should solely live within our own standards.

    beautiful look and pictures, as always!

    i wander, i wonder

    11.22.10 · Reply
  13. Couldn't agree more! And, dang! Great pictures!

    11.22.10 · Reply
  14. Peggy says:

    great photo shoot today and such true words- thanks for the reminder!

    11.22.10 · Reply
  15. erin says:

    1. fantastic outfit, i love it.
    2. i love your message even more than your outfit


    11.22.10 · Reply
  16. Lauren says:

    Oh gorgeous Kendi and such wise words x

    11.22.10 · Reply
  17. Brooke says:

    you always have such cute photos!! I love your brown shirt mixed with your boots!

    11.22.10 · Reply
  18. awwww Kendi, you are so uplifting! I've been feeling slightly insecure about the remix since I'm not a fashion blogger per say and I can kind of feel like a french movie geek alien when looking at the gorgeous fellow remixers. Your post today makes me see how the challenge is a good way in the end to celebrate our differences πŸ™‚

    11.22.10 · Reply
  19. great post and so true. thanks for the reminder!

    11.22.10 · Reply
  20. Great post today. What you said about the dangers of making comparisons is so true. Sometimes you just need to stop, take a breather, and refocus on what's important. Gorgeous photos btw!


    11.22.10 · Reply
  21. Lauren says:

    Not only are these amazing, gorgeous pictures and outfit, but also amazing, gorgeous thoughts. And they are so very true – instead of constructing an identity around what we're not, it's better to figure out what we are.

    PS – when you mentioned jumping on the couch, I instantly thought a reference to Tom Cruise was coming πŸ™‚

    Small Time Style

    11.22.10 · Reply
  22. Anh says:

    Great photos, great post. You're a joy to have on my google reader! =) xoxo

    11.22.10 · Reply
  23. CrankyKitten says:

    Sigh. You're ten times better than an inspirational calendar. : ) Thanks for sharing your smile and words of wisdom, they came in handy for me today! : )

    11.22.10 · Reply
  24. Mere says:

    Great outfit and these pictures are so great with the fall foliage.

    That quote is perfect–thanks for sharing.

    11.22.10 · Reply
  25. kimmie says:

    I love that quote. Thanks for sharing. I'm horrible at looking at blogs everyday of girls wearing such pretty clothes and not comparing or becoming jealous.

    BTW, you're awesome, Kendi. I hope you know that. πŸ™‚

    11.22.10 · Reply
  26. Brandilyn says:

    omg, so jealous. i took my pictures in a foot of SNOW today! adorable post and adorable pictures, lady.

    11.22.10 · Reply
  27. LOVE these photos! You look amazing πŸ˜€

    11.22.10 · Reply
  28. How right you are! We can't allow people to love us until we love ourselves. Always great to have a reminder about self confidence. And Love love love the scarf pic!

    11.22.10 · Reply
  29. This post is full of greatness…great outfit, great advice, and great photos. I love the one of you laying in the leaves.
    No Guilt Fashion

    11.22.10 · Reply
  30. amber says:

    great post, great advice! i love that quote "comparison is the theif of joy" – thats one worth remembering.

    11.22.10 · Reply
  31. Jo says:

    One of my favorite mantras is: Be yourself. Everyone else is taken!

    It's always good to remind ourselves of this, no? πŸ™‚

    11.22.10 · Reply
  32. Stunning photos and your smile and playfulness is just and added bonus for us. Thanks for such a lovely post. I look forward to your blog and photos everyday (but no pressure when you cant post somedays, everybody needs a break).

    11.22.10 · Reply
  33. Phuong says:

    Thank you for this inspiring post. I really needed to hear this today πŸ™‚

    11.22.10 · Reply
  34. Great advice!
    Great pictures!
    Great outfit!
    What more could a girl ask for?

    11.22.10 · Reply
  35. Kinsey says:

    The pictures today are really beautiful. Great message!

    11.22.10 · Reply
  36. Camilla says:

    I love these photos, gorgeous πŸ™‚
    Thanks for stopping by πŸ™‚

    11.22.10 · Reply
  37. Stephanie says:

    wow. thanks. needed that.

    11.22.10 · Reply
  38. Stephanie says:

    do you know who said that? (besides you???? =)

    11.22.10 · Reply
  39. Thanks for that, I needed it

    11.22.10 · Reply
  40. great post and great pictures.

    11.22.10 · Reply
  41. Laila says:

    Geez, that made me tear up a little.

    just a tiny bit.

    thanks, kendi, for being who you are.

    11.22.10 · Reply
  42. arliddian says:

    Just what I needed to hear!

    Your pictures make me wish it was autumn in Australia. Maybe I should go read your summer 30 for 30 so I don't get sleeve and scarf envy!

    11.22.10 · Reply
  43. daer0n says:

    Gorgeous you, gorgeous photos!

    I love that quote at the bottom, very true and always encouraging, and inspirational. Just what I needed to read today, Thank you!

    Have a great week!

    11.22.10 · Reply
  44. Britt says:

    Cute pics! Love the scarf!

    11.22.10 · Reply
  45. Amen sister.
    Although I am absolutely horrible with comparing myself… or just wanting to be like so many different things(people) while still being me.
    God forbid I pick up a book about an axe murderer… then that could be dangerous.
    It's about balance right. Be what you want to be while still being you. I'll still swear like a sailor and punch anybody in the arm. it's just me.
    YOU HOWEVER! should not be comparing, you are gorgeous, hilarious and talented. You are only human though (i'm sorry, maybe one day you'll be more?)

    11.22.10 · Reply
  46. Katie says:

    Beautiful photos and a wonderful message… I love this post. πŸ™‚

    11.22.10 · Reply
  47. Kaydee says:

    I love that message and your pictures are beautiful πŸ™‚

    11.22.10 · Reply
  48. Heidi says:

    Awesome message. Timely, too.

    & I luff your new blog look!

    11.22.10 · Reply
  49. I absolutely love that quote, I just hung it up on my bulletin board to remind myself that.

    Oh, and those pictures of you in the leaves are gorgeous!

    11.22.10 · Reply
  50. MJ says:

    mmm I love the leaves πŸ™‚

    11.22.10 · Reply
  51. Jen says:

    do you ever make yourself giggle by reading your posts again after the fact, then think to yourself "I am so funny" lol.

    11.22.10 · Reply
  52. Love what you said and Elizabeth's quote too πŸ™‚

    It's hard not to compare, contrast, measure up. I am your basic constant vigilance kind of person (can you say "neurotic"?) Certainly something to work on for me.. or stop working on more like.

    Lovely photos & outfit πŸ™‚

    11.22.10 · Reply
  53. Pam S says:

    It has taken me 25 years to come to terms with the fact that apart from some dental work there is nothing I can do to change who I am…heck I can't even do the dental work until I can afford Β£3000 for braces lol…so yeah I can only be me as I am.

    This knowledge would never have made me popular or liked but I think it might have helped me deal with being different from everyone in my class.

    Should you ever invent a time machine please go back in time and inform my younger self this important fact πŸ™‚

    Also, they're right you do look gorgeous, my boyfriend does a wonderful job with my little camera and I'm so grateful to him but I'd love to see what your talented husband could make of me (picture wise of course).

    11.22.10 · Reply
  54. Wittney says:

    Oh Kendi, I heart you! I totally needed these words of wisdom today. It's so easy to get caught up in everything and it can get to be too much. Thanks for the reminder that it's ok to watch and appreciate the world every once-in-a-while. I have to disagree with your husband though. Jumping on the couch/bed IS a way to calm down and should be treated as therapy. That and blasting Alannis Morissette.

    11.22.10 · Reply
  55. eleanor says:

    You're so wise, Kendi! This post really hit home for me. I've been comparing myself to others a lot lately, even in the blogging world, and it's never a good thing. One way or another we just end up feeling inadequate, when we shouldn't at all!

    On another note, I really love this outfit, and that second to last photo kills me. You are so beautiful, lady.


    11.22.10 · Reply
  56. Jana says:

    What a great quote! Today was one of those days that was completely brought down by my attitude about my abilities versus those of my colleagues. This was exactly what I needed to hear today! Thank you for this source of positivity!

    11.22.10 · Reply
  57. PILAR says:

    i love this post! the photos are gorgeous! my favorite is the one of you on the ground. as women, i think we constantly feel the need to compare ourselves to other women, and i love that you are encouraging each of us to be who we are!

    11.22.10 · Reply
  58. KC says:

    Thanks for that Kendi! I needed to hear that today. You are great at being you EVERYDAY :).

    Love the pics and the outfit!

    11.22.10 · Reply
  59. Kathleen says:

    No idea if this was intentional, but your post title totally reminds me of that Wang Chung song Dance Hall Days (the line in the song is, "me, you and everyone we knew,") so now it's running through my head.

    I love your outfit today and your pictures are just great. I wish I had a photographer so I could take pictures outside!

    11.22.10 · Reply
  60. the last two photos are amazing!!

    11.22.10 · Reply
  61. Beautifully written Kendi, I think especially in the blogging world it's tough not to start comparing. I'm so glad you wrote this, as it's exactly what I needed to read at this moment. PS You look gorgeous as always xx

    11.22.10 · Reply
  62. Anonymous says:

    That bit about comparison is just what I needed to hear today. Thanks, Kendi πŸ™‚

    11.22.10 · Reply
  63. Angela says:

    Your pictures are just beautiful! You look great. And what sweet words of encouragement. We could all use nice reminders like that.

    11.22.10 · Reply
  64. Mrs. J says:

    I really needed to hear that, I've been struggling with people pleasing and comparing myself forever. Now in life I just try to live by this one motto.. " I can't be you, so why am I not being myself"

    Great post and beautiful pictures as always!! πŸ™‚

    11.22.10 · Reply
  65. amanda says:

    beautiful photos, beautiful message πŸ™‚

    11.23.10 · Reply
  66. Your husband is immensely talented – these photographs look like dream sequences. Especially the one where you're lying on a blanket of leaves.

    11.23.10 · Reply
  67. Linley says:

    i think you are pretty fabulous at being you! high-five!

    and, love your outfit today! the pieces themselves and the color combo!

    11.23.10 · Reply
  68. Berni says:

    Hi, Kendi! I've been reading your blog for a few weeks but this is my first time posting, your pictures are so beautiful and you are hilarious! I applaud you for what you wrote on today's post, well said! And your outfit is really cute and goes very well with the Autumn leaves πŸ™‚

    11.23.10 · Reply
  69. these are such lovely carefree pictures <3 love your outfit and the colors in these!

    11.23.10 · Reply
  70. love this post. love. thank you; we all need to remember this sometimes.

    11.23.10 · Reply
  71. Gaby says:

    Loving the pics of you on the leaves, they are just plain BEAUTIFUL!

    11.23.10 · Reply
  72. LuLu says:
    11.23.10 · Reply
  73. Kelly says:

    Thank you for such a positive and inspirational post!! I really needed it.

    You look extra happy in these photos! love it!

    Love the boots!

    11.23.10 · Reply
  74. Terri says:

    Kendi–the last two photos are wonderful.

    Your insight about comparison is so true. We all have our hands full being the person the creator made US to be.

    11.23.10 · Reply
  75. Chas says:

    Gorgeous photos! I love all of the colors you combined in your outfit!

    11.23.10 · Reply
  76. Kendi, you are too precious!! I love these photos – so beautiful and natural! And I totally agree – never compare yourself, it never turns out well. But you know we think you're great right? hugs sweetie!

    11.23.10 · Reply
  77. Tiq says:

    U look stunning!

    11.23.10 · Reply
  78. Say it Sister….right on…theres no room in life for a competition…in real life or via the internet….I think you are FAB being you…..keep it up, you are AWESOME hunnie!!!

    Stop by and say Hello:)
    Enter my Spotted Moth Giveawayβ™₯

    11.23.10 · Reply
  79. Jessica says:

    Love that 5th picture of you laying in the leaves! So fun!

    11.23.10 · Reply
  80. you are gorgeous, these pictures are so fun. and that quote is all of my all time favorites. i learned it from a counselor at a camp that i went to for years, and that quote has stuck with me for a while. thank you for reminding me!

    11.23.10 · Reply
  81. Your quote was *just* what I needed today. Thank you for helping me remember.

    11.23.10 · Reply
  82. Lisa D. says:

    Your pictures are gorgeous, as usual. The last one is my favorite of this set. Thanks for this post. I had kind of an awkward afternoon at work, and your post cheered me up and made everything better. =)

    11.23.10 · Reply
  83. Liz says:

    a. you are gorgeous and so good at being the only kendi i "know"
    b. i really needed to be reminded of this whole comparison thing
    c. does your scarf have glitter, because that would make it pretty awesome!

    11.23.10 · Reply
  84. I'm really loving your 30 for 30 outfits even more this time, fall outfits are the best!

    11.23.10 · Reply
  85. Angeline says:

    So true–comparing ourselves to others can be so destructive, but difficult to avoid. Thanks for the reminder.

    I'm so loving your boots…I finally got brown flat boots this year and now I covet gray? It just never ends.

    11.23.10 · Reply
  86. Maggie says:

    Kendi- I totally needed to hear this today! I have made such a habit of comparing myself to others- I needed this advice to remind me to knock it off.

    Thanks for the wise words! And for wearing this cute outfit πŸ™‚

    11.23.10 · Reply
  87. Deb says:

    That first photograph of you lying in the grass is absolutely gorgeous.

    11.23.10 · Reply
  88. Exactly what I needed to hear. You're incredibly gorgeous, btw. These pictures are incredible.

    11.23.10 · Reply
  89. This is SO true! I used to compare myself with all my friends since I am much heavier than them and I was the only one who had acne. I realized one day that it's pointless to compare myself to others because none of us are really alike. We are all too unique to be compared. Thanks for the great post!

    11.23.10 · Reply
  90. Can I get bigger eyelids so I can burn this entire post on the back of them? No, that would be crazy, and not look very good, but you are so right. Thank you for sharing!

    11.23.10 · Reply
  91. Karrisa says:

    Quite inspired musings… I love your photos here. πŸ˜€

    11.23.10 · Reply
  92. Jen says:

    I like this. A lot. Let me know how it feels getting your inner eyelid tattooed.

    11.23.10 · Reply
  93. Vanessa says:

    I really loved this post. It reminded me that I compare myself to other people way too much. Money, weight, blog size, and way too many other things. The truth is it doesn't really matter. Thank you for reminding me.
    My Heart Blogged

    11.23.10 · Reply
  94. wow these pics are amazing!! i LOVEEE your boots!!! and your scarf and your shirt! thanks for sharing wear you got it all!! πŸ™‚

    11.23.10 · Reply
  95. jadore says:

    Love your outfit, and love the words in your post. Comparing your self to others is a really negative thing to do. thanks for the reminder. I love your blog =)

    11.23.10 · Reply
  96. Catie Cap says:

    Such wise words! That is something that I personally needed to hear right at this incredibly stressful time of school! And when you're in your 20s, I feel like this is the time to really figure out who you are, and you're so right–you never will win if you compare yourself.

    Thanks for sharing your wisdom!

    And your outfit, so so cute today. I love these leaf pictures!

    11.23.10 · Reply
  97. This is by far, my most favourite photoshoot you've done since I started reading you over a year ago. Gorgeous, beautiful fall pictures!

    11.23.10 · Reply
  98. Daphne says:

    Bautiful full colors and such a serene photo shoot. Love it.

    11.23.10 · Reply
  99. stephanie says:

    That is exactly what I need to read today. Lovely post and lovely outfit! So inspiring. xo

    11.23.10 · Reply
  100. yep, really needed that right now kendi. duh i should of known you would come up with such a great thing to say for me today. spanks alot! your bea-ut as always!

    11.23.10 · Reply
  101. One of my favorite quotes as well. You have just given us a well-needed (and very stylish) reminder that we are all made differently because it would be tres boring if we were all the same. Thank you!

    11.23.10 · Reply
  102. Justine says:

    you are totally

    Just Better Together

    11.23.10 · Reply
  103. Rellacafa says:

    What a gorgeous sentiment, so very truthful. Comparison really is the thief of joy! It stops us from seeing our uniqueness for the wonder it is. Gorgeous post πŸ™‚

    11.23.10 · Reply
  104. Amy says:

    This was just what I needed to hear! Thanks!

    11.23.10 · Reply
  105. Flora says:

    The quote about always losing when you compare yourself to others really resonates with me today. Thank you.


    11.23.10 · Reply
  106. You're damn skippy!

    11.23.10 · Reply
  107. Sher says:

    Oh my, I'm absolutely in love with that last 2 pics, aunt Kendi!!


    11.23.10 · Reply
  108. Mama Fuss says:

    Gorgeous! Love this outfit!

    11.23.10 · Reply
  109. Keira says:

    I love these fun, happy shots! And that leather skirt. AND the wise words in this post. All around great, Kendi πŸ™‚

    11.23.10 · Reply
  110. Caroline says:

    That last photo is GORGEOUS. Thank you for those lovely, kind words of advice! I wholly agree with you.

    11.23.10 · Reply
  111. OMGosh, I am IN LOVE with this outfit and color combo! I heart the spice/metallic colors. Gorgeous pics, too!

    11.23.10 · Reply
  112. E says:

    Thank you for the post. "Calm down and just be…"I love it! This is what I needed to hear today πŸ™‚ The pictures are so beautiful!!!!

    11.23.10 · Reply
  113. Kathleen says:

    Your photos are lovely–and your husband is a great photographer. I love that quote about comparison being the thief of joy–I need to get that stamped on the inside of my eyelids too!

    11.23.10 · Reply
  114. Julie says:

    I've been travelling the last five days so I'm catching up on all the posts I missed!

    Anyways, I just wanted to tell you that my grandmother once ended a letter to me by saying, "I am content. I hope you are, too." It really resonated with me because I think it's so true. To truly be content (with our looks, with our jobs, with our financial situations, etc) is to truly be happy. What more can you ask for when you are, indeed, content.

    11.23.10 · Reply
  115. This is so awesomely modern '70s! You look like Ali MacGraw!

    11.23.10 · Reply
  116. Mary says:

    I am truly inspired by this post. I shared your quote with my FB friends and you've inspired them as well. Thank you so much for reminding us to just be ourselves. I'm constantly on fashion blogs and wishing I could look or buy what others have, and I need to remind myself to just be me b/c that's who my family loves. I love your blog and these pics are so cute and gave me great ideas for a shoot I'll be doing with my son soon!

    11.23.10 · Reply
  117. Jing Pei says:

    Beautiful pictures! Your outfit is so put together, and it's so simple but romantic (at least that's what my mind immediately jumped to!)

    Those boots are lovely!

    11.23.10 · Reply
  118. Holly says:

    Amazing quote! That may be my new daily mantra!

    11.23.10 · Reply
  119. lovely pics and lovely outfit!u have really great blog,i'm following u through google and bloglovin'!:)
    if u want u can check my blog!:)

    11.23.10 · Reply
  120. ag. says:

    Well, I hate to be jealous of you…but I am. I'm pretty happy with being me but if I could be you for a day, I think I'd like it too.

    11.23.10 · Reply
  121. Jenn says:

    Thank you for this posting. It's very refreshing. Also, these pictures are beautiful.

    11.24.10 · Reply
  122. Erin F. says:

    I have been wanting to start a blog for a long time but kept putting it off because of comparisons. Thanks so much for inspiring me to go for it! My blog isn't anything at all right now but thanks for your words of wisdom!

    11.24.10 · Reply
  123. that is definitely a lesson that everyone needs to remember! thanks for reminding me:)

    11.26.10 · Reply
  124. Janet says:

    Brown and gray… when you combine them, it looks great! What are the general color guidelines for combining them? I am afraid if I pair my gray boots and brown jacket it will look weird. Love your blog by the way!!!

    11.30.10 · Reply
  125. Alexa says:

    I love your pictures! It makes me really feel like autumn actually arrived for a bit — although I haven't personally felt it at all.

    Thanks also for the positive advice about not comparing yourself to others and just focusing on being the best you. It's basically my goal for this month to go deeper into myself and figure things out. Thanks again!

    12.02.10 · Reply
  126. katie says:

    gah! amen to that sister! thanks for the words of wisdom πŸ™‚

    12.20.10 · Reply